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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April , 2015 Day - Several people have already mentioned a beach. Today our excursion is to a beach. Where are we going? What are you wearing? If you hate beaches, what will you be doing while the rest of us bask in the sun? Be sure to wear sunscreen! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Oh Goody, The Beach The waves The Sun The sand The Beach Oh the waves Oh the sun Oh the sand Oh the beach Oh goody, the beach Oh goody, the sand, sun, and waves. The beach, where you feel so alive and you see so much, from the time you arrive. The waves, the sun, sand, beach and skies The wind - The wind Blew sand in my eyes WARNING THIS BLOG ENTRY IS RATED ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** BY ANDRE & TROOP Global Management & Consulting Technology Services ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April 14, 2015 Day 14 - On one of our excursions you meet an animal. Tell us where we are and what happened in the encounter with the animal. Were you thrilled, scared, amused? Wished into the woods, and surrounded by miles and miles of nothing but trees, our hero, unwittingly, as is his nature, discovers the entrance to the enchanted wood. He pauses to snack on some magic mushrooms. As his body began to tingle and his mind slowly faded away, the enchanted forest began to come to life. A Lonesome looking wolf, longing for attention, was suddenly standing over our hero, which startled him. Reality fell away and was replaced by a wash-over of animation, in vivid color, with strobe motion, then the wolf began to speak. "Hello traveler, I'm Fungus, the hungry for attention wolf. I'm your spirit guide for this little excursion, and you're stoned out of your mind on magic mushrooms, so let's just get this over with. Blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah, blah, and the next thing you know - we're at the day spa in the woods." Dragon is hiding   Runs the day spa in the woods. It's called the Magic Dragon. Miss Dragon's mother helps her by tattooing Andre the Blog Monkey images on the bodies of (mostly) young ladies, as it's the popular craze at the time. PandaPaws Licensed VetTech  and skeason  are massage therapists, and the rest of the services offered at the Magic Dragon are delegated to a highly dedicated staff made up of locals. "Hey traveler, check this out. I just ran into pinkbarbie back there in the woods. She told me of how she had been in a marshmallow fight, and got hot, gooey, sweet, sticky, candy covering her larger then usual breasts, on a slender frame... and it gave me a huge... ... ... idea. So I took a short cut to get here before Miss Aisha. Okay, you know how the story goes... 'Oh my! What a big idea you have,' says Miss Dragon." "The better to plan a prank on Miss Aisha and get a little attention for myself, I reply." "So I set it all up with Miss Dragon. I tell her of how Miss Aisha is on her way to the Magic Dragon with her larger than usual breasts covered in a sweet, gooey, sticky mess, and how Miss Aisha said she was going to get a body sugaring with a happy ending, which gave me an instant idea. Miss Dragon agreed to go along with my plan. Just before Miss Aisha arrived with her larger than usual breasts covered in a sweet, gooey, sticky mess, Miss Dragon, her mother, Miss Panda, and Miss skeason, and all the local employees hid in the back room. We turned off all of the lights, and I stood watch at the door. When I saw Miss Aisha approaching, with her larger than usual breasts covered in a sweet, gooey, sticky mess, and wanting to have a body sugaring treatment with a happy ending, I turned the sign in the door around. Now the 'CLOSED' side is showing. You should have saw the look on Miss Aisha's face. There she was, with her larger than usual breasts covered in a sweet, gooey, sticky mess, and wanting to have a body sugaring treatment with a happy ending... and we pretended the Magic Dragon was closed. She looked so disappointed and confused. Hey! What do you mean, 'That's lame?' Well, What did you expect? ... ... ... Oh, You! ...You ... ... You! You're a very naughty person. No more stories for you. Go now. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April 12 &13, 2015 Day 12 - It’s time for music! Tell us where we are going to hear some. Are we going to an opera? A concert? Are we listening to some chamber music or a grand choir? Tell us about the evening. Day 13 - The group is between sight seeing excursions. To pass the time, let’s tell a twisted fairy tale -- something where Cinderella was a fellow, Red Riding Hood was the wolf, or Mother Goose is running Wall Street. It's always time for music, I love music. Lately I've noticed that, both Leslie and myself, are experiencing reduced ability in our hearing. So, what did I do? I went out and bought a drum kit. I've always wanted to learn how to play the drums, but never had the opportunity. Now I still don't have the opportunity, but I've learned to say, "Fuck it, I'm going to buy this used Peavey drum kit and teach myself how to play it by following along with the free Youtube lessons on the inter-net, and nothing's going to get in my way!" [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Except for the pails of booze I consume over in the monkey bar - I don't normally drink - At least I haven't had an alcoholic drink in 2015. So... I decided to start juicing it today. Yep, I'm on Mean-Green. Not gonna say anything about it... Just gonna... suck it up. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Little Pink Barbie, aka pinkbarbie was walking in the forest one day, when she came upon hungry for attention wolf by the name of Fungus. "Hey little pink Barbie, where are you going on that small frame of a body with those larger than usual breasts?" "I was at a bond fire, and a flaming marshmallow fight broke out. Now I have hot gooey sweet sticky mess all over my larger than usual breasts. So I'm going to the day spa in the forest to get a sugar coating, with a happy ending." That gave Fungas wolf an idea. But... There's no time for this nonsense today. Like a guy on a juice diet says, "I gotta go." ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April 11, 2015 Day 11 - One of the aftermaths of the cosmic storm is someone has dreamed up Captain Hook along with his ship, the Jolly Roger, and associated crew. His ship pulls up along our ship and a battle occurs. Tell us what happened in this battle. ElaineElaine  - You know I have nothing but respect for you, but I have to say, "You are an evil, sick, and twisted monster. I can't believe you unleashed a wicked horde of mutated pirates, the likes of Captain Hook, and his nasty crew on us poor unsuspecting tourists." AND LOOK... SISTER MOLLY MUGGINGSWORTH IS LEADING THE CHARGE. Fivesixer  WARNED US ABOUT HER... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! FLEE OR FIGHT! I"LL GET THE BULLETS...  Brother Nature Gets the party started with the ever popular SHOOTING THE PLACE UP.rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat    rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat    rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat Fivesixer Unpacks his crate of shhhhhhhh. It's a secret. Five-Sixer intercepted a military shipment, that is sure to help. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** missbiggs , Noyoki , groovygirl, and Kit_Carmelite are stunned. Finn O'Flaherty , Cobe , and Kate - Writing & Reading  are stunned as well. Charlie ~ , Cheri Annemos , and Brother Nature are also stunned. Then, In a hail of bullets Andre the Blog Monkey arrives.He tosses M-16 assault rifles, cast in pure milk chocolate, to Prosperous Snow celebrating  , Charlie ~ , who is also stunned, and ROSΣANNΣ|NaPoWriMo|WGT|JDI who was standing off on her lonesome. Then they all started shooting rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat Then Andre the Blog monkey tossed more weapons to all of the stunned travelers, and the pirates started to fall. rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat In a hail of I saw Being Diane Beat the hell out of five guys at the same time. I mean she really kicked the living hell out of them, then when she was done...she beat the hell out of five more guys.And the battle raged on through the night rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat Then LJinthePeg  Asked, "Are you almost done with that?" Then she started tapping her toes, and asking if I would be at for a while yet? Then she started playing on the drums, and bugging the shit out of me.So now I'm done. We win! The end! rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat rat a tat ta ta tat tat ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Работя върху създаването на моя собствен набор от цветове. Аз създадох една досега. Не мога да кажа нищо на никого. Един ден вие ще платите за да ме види цветове. Вие ще платите. Всички ще плащат. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April 9, 2015 Day 9 - We’re being good, polite tourists. (I hope!) Each of you meet someone. Tell us about the encounter. Where are you and did this person tell you a story, perhaps their life history? Our friend Ms.Elaine went and did it now! ElaineElaine messed with the hyper-vortex timeline continuum factor thinga-ma-jinga. Getting on and off a magic ship will do that, you know. I was here - I was there - did you see that? Now I have no idea what time it is, and I don't mean time of day. I need a calendar to figure this out. It seems that whenever you look for something on the magic ship you find something else, so I looked for a period in time, and found a destination in space. (Not in outer space - Just in a space) From shore I could hear the ship's captain making an announcement to the other travelers. I wished myself onshore ahead of the others, because things in my room have gotten a bit out of hand. I couldn't make out exactly what the captain was saying, but I recognized immediately that voice. It was Andre the Blog Monkey - He worked his way up to captain of the magic ship somehow. Now I really need to know where and when we are. As Andre's voice faded away, another voice rang out, and called to me. "You there! Welcome to outer space, eh." "I just told the people we wouldn't be going into outer space." "Well, aren't you the stupid one, then." "Hey!" "Sorry about that, I'm just depressed, eh because I will be forever remembered as a military failure, eh - me, Major General James Wolfe of The British Army. I was supposed to lay claim to all of this land in the name of England. We were going to call this place Canada, and play hockey, and say, 'eh' a lot. But that isn't going to happen now, because The Marquis de Montcalm of The French Army has already claimed this land for France, eh. His army is camped upstream, and won't leave without a fight, eh. That French-Fried fruitcake has the upper hand! He can see every move I make from up there! I have no choice, eh but to move my men downstream to the coast, then back to England, in defeat." "General Wolfe, why don't you just pretend to withdraw your men downstream? Make it LOOK like you're preparing to leave, by moving your men (on deck) down stream during the day, but then, bring them back up stream (below deck) at night. That way you can surprise the French Army and defeat them." "Are you completely out of your mind? That trick would never work, eh. The Marquis de Montcalm is a stupid drunken ass, but he would never fall for such a ridiculous ploy. Where did you ever come up with such a crazy scheme - a cartoon!?" I went on ahead upstream to see if I could learn anything from The Marquis de Montcalm. When I found him he was having his afternoon nap, while his soldiers played 'toucher les pièces coquines' with the native girls. "Hello Marquis de Montcalm, I'm a tourist from the future, I was hoping you can tell me the date, so I can figure out how to get back to the present day. "Ewe arr luck-ee, I speak ing-lish to ewe, ewe ing-lish speaking stupid per-son. Eat iz September 13th,1759. I am jus abouts to dee-feet général Wolfe, and claim dis lands for France. Come 'ere, ewe stupid per-son and see for your self. Ewe see zat, over dare? Da ing-lish arm-ee iz sailing dare men - down stream. Before da winters come 'ere, day will return to Englands. And I wheel be da king of New France, da worlds first clothings option-all countr-ee. Come, come, I wheel fiirst get drunk, Den I wheel address my men, and ewe wheel see. Atention' Atention'! Has ewe can see... da ing-lish cow herds, ave run away. Eat iz good news, yes? Seeing as 'ow da ing-lish ave run away, dare is no one to fight with, yes-no? So... ewe are all fired, and can fuck off, and go play 'toucher les pièces coquines' with the native girls. And seeing as 'ow I am now de king of New France I am keep-ing all da wine and monies for my self. All of ewe arm-ee guy can go and find a jobs. And ewe can tell da na-tives dat France thanks dem for dare 'elp, but day can fuck off now all so." As The Marquis de Montcalm addresses and dismisses his troops, General Wolfe assembles his troops in battle formation right behind Montcalm. When the Marquis de Montcalm turns and sees this - He mutters the most famous words in the history of French military battle field failures. "Dare stands da British 'arm-ee, where da British arm-ee ought not stands." ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** note I should not be left on my own, to wander the universe, unsupervised. I see stupid things, and so do I. On the way back to the ship and present day, I made a brief stop. Dealey Plaza, Dallas, Texas Friday, November 22, 1963 at precisely 12:30 p.m. I waited for the motorcade to come into view. I watched for the 1961 Lincoln Continental convertible to roll to the exact coordinates. (32°46′45″N 96°48′31″W) At the exact moment in time and space... I stood up, and shouted in my loudest voice. "John, duck!" What the hell - It was worth a try. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April 8, 2015 Day 8 - Ever so often a confluence of events occur – too many restless sleepers and the phase of the moon as well as the moon’s distance from the sun and other astronomical events -- and a dream storm occurs. Here we are all snug in our beds and this cosmic storm hits. Tell us what happens in this storm. The scene is deep dark space. There is an ominously large celestial body in full view. There is a highly polished silvery sewing needle moving slowly, silently, and steadily towards the planetary orb. I am both a witness, and somehow a part of the scene. I am far removed from the scene, yet completely connected to the two objects in view. As the needle grows ever closer to the planet, fear builds until it grips my entire body. Frozen in fear, the needle makes contact with the planet. There is an ever so faint 'ping' sound. A second of peace is followed by something so horrible that my sleeping body won't allow me to experience it. I'm suddenly and violently startled out of my sleeping state. I lay there... in a cold sweat, and wait for the fear to subside. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April 7, 2015 Day 7 - You've popped back home. Yes, you know no one knows you’re gone, but you've gotten homesick. Tell us what’s happening there. My real life, if that's truly what it is, follows (pretty closely) the entries I compose for my blog. I may not have a real life blog monkey, but I do have a real life imaginary blog monkey. I can say that; My blog is the book, and my real life is the movie based on the book. So...Stepping off the ship and back into my real life I find that I really was just on a trip. Not on a magical ship, but in a 2002 Ford F150. I didn't go to where ever the hell we went, but I was back in Manitoba visiting with family and spending a weekend in Sunset Bay, where we still have a house, we're planning on returning to someday. What's happening here? (In real life Regina, or Saskatchewan, or whatever) A lot of stuff is going on behind the scenes. I stepped away from the Official March Blogging Challenge in the 30 Day Blogging Challenge Group, so I could complete some work in the basement here at home. I'm building a living space in the basement - starting from the bare walls. (Sort of like what we did on the magic ship, but without the wishing ability) In reality I have to measure and cut, and plan, and re-measure, and cut again, and swear, and swing a hammer, then swear some more before anything gets done. Instead of writing blog entries I installed a vapor barrier, built frames for wall panels, installed insulation, and installed a second vapor barrier; I framed a closet and entryway for a bedroom or office. I did a little electrical work, and installed sliding mirrored closet doors. I made pretty good progress, and was just about to put up drywall, when the outside walls began to leak from the snow melt going on outside. The bad news is: My walls leak. The good news is: My vapor barrier was installed correctly and none of the work I did was ruined by the water - Also, the basement walls can be repaired from the outside, which allows me to continue my work inside. So the basement project has taken on yet a new challenge and expense, but continues. Other happenings here are: Our local hockey team, The Regina Pats have made it to the second round of the WHL playoffs and will face The Brandon Wheat Kings in round two. There's more going on, but I would die of boredom, long before I could write enough to kill you with boredom. So before anyone gets hurt I'm just going to stop writing, so you can stop rea ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April 6, 2015 Day 6 - We’re visiting one of the many wonderful suggested destinations - either one someone has suggested or a different one. Things do not go as planned. Tell us where we are and what kind of trouble we get into. Make the entry humorous if you can. I've gotta say, this magic ship is one of the best vehicles ever brought to life on Writing.com. I've always felt that getting there is all a part of the adventure, and tripping in the magic ship is traveling in style. We arrived at our first port of call, when there seemed to be a mad rush to get off the ship. I wondered where exactly we were. As I looked around for a clue, I realized what a twit I was, to suggest, that I wanted to travel anywhere. I noticed PandaPaws Licensed VetTech was organizing a group, so I decided to go along. As it turned out Ms. Panda was organizing a search party to locate Andre the Blog Monkey. Everyone else seemed eager to take part, so I decided to play along for the time being.I went along with my group - pretending to look for Andre - knowing full well, that Andre finds you, you don't find Andre. Besides, I knew that Andre went to have tea with Dragon is hiding and her mother.As we walked through the jungle, making monkey sounds and waving bananas around in the air, I noticed a hut, tucked away in a thicket. The hut had a neon sign flashing on and off. HOOLA HUT. I changed my direction towards the hut. I hoped that nobody would follow me. ROSΣANNΣ|NaPoWriMo|WGT|JDI was right behind me a second ago, but was now ahead of me, and heading straight for the Hoola Hut. I caught up to her, and asked her where she was going? Roseanne turned three shades of red with embarrassment. "Me? Going? Nowhere. I'm not going nowhere. I'm looking for Andre. I'm not going to the Hoola Hut. Why would I go there? There's nothing there that I would be interested in. I'm a lone wolf, I don't go to Hoola Huts. I'm going to wait here and see if Andre comes by." Outside the Hoola Hut there was a sign which read - ring bell for entry. I pulled the rope, which sounded a bell. A small door in the center of the main door opened up and I was looking right into ElaineElaine eyes. "who sent you?" she snarled."Lone wolf," I lied. The door opened up, and in I walked. Now everything makes sense - I've heard about these places, but never actually been to one. Andre the Blog Monkey's Blogging Banana Bar back on Writing. com was the closest thing to it, but still, this was the read deal. No wonder Roseanne was so embarrassed to be seen even in the area of a Hoola Hut. I'll never forget the horrors I saw. The scene was chaotic, the air was thick with ganja smoke. In the center of the room... and I warn you... If you don't want to be forever scarred emotionally... leave now! Because right there... in the center of the room... were none other than... Fivesixer and Charlie ~ They were engaged in a heated Bunga Bunga act on a smelly mattress, in the center of the room, while Andre the Blog Monkey stood in as guest referee. Sweaty natives circled around the mattress banging coconuts together and chanting. Oh My God! It was a Bunga Bunga room! I saw... I saw ... I can't say it. Please, someone pour bleach in my eyes. I can't take anymore. I pull the wish alarm, and poof, I'm back on the ship. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Prompt for April 5 , 2015 Day5 - As we plan out various excursions, what is a place you do not want to visit? I'd pretty much go anywhere, providing it's not a bad place. Hell is a bad place to be. Contrary to AC/DC's song, 'Hell's not a bad place to be.' I wouldn't want to go to hell. Mind you - If I really didn't want to go to hell, you'd think, I'd stop sinning. Another bad place to be would be - any war zone. I don't want to go anywhere there is any fighting, or an absence of decency - Including places where anything bad happened. I wouldn't want to visit any 'post' natural disaster sites. My real life self is spending the night in his brother's basement, before driving the six hour trip home in the morning. Magical Ship - Take me home! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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