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Follow my struggles and triumphs as I attempt to gain a healthy lifestyle. |
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Hello! My name is Carissa and I am third generation sweet tooth. The love of sugar runs very deep in my family, especially on my dads side. Consequently, diabetes also runs very high on that side of the family. Both of my grandparents had the disease as well as 4/6 of their kids. As a teenager I will never forget what it was like watching my grandma give herself a shot of insulin with a deep sigh right before she injected herself or the horror in my mothers voice as she tells me that my grandma is in the hospital because she passed out at a store; due to her blood sugar dropping too low. I also had an uncle pass away suddenly in his early 50's because of diabetes complications. He had a daughter, the same age as me, in college and a son still in high school at the time. In February a doctor told me that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (referred to as PCOS) and pre-diabetes. This news is not surprising to me, but it still makes me tremble. I want to learn how to have a well balanced healthy lifestyle and still enjoy a sweet delicacy occasionally and have the hope of someday having a baby to call my own. Currently I am 28 years old, weighing a little over 300 LBS and I am using Dieting for Dummies as a workbook. Follow me on my journey for a newer healthier lifestyle. |
| American society is funny in the fact that we cry for equality, but at the same time we are bullies. I was taught at a very young age that you do not call someone retarded and then my mother explained why. I could not use the word since it essentially was ridiculing someone with disabilities. I did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings and never referred to someone acting or being retarded again. Society has taken a group of people and singled them out, targeting them, and insulting them. This movement has grown so large it has its own term: fat shaming. I am a 27 year old woman who is morbidly obese. I have struggled with my weight beginning in childhood. As a teen I lost 40 lbs. with support from my parents. One of the ways my dad thought he was helping was by policing everything I ate. If I wanted to have a doughnut he would scoff and say “you don’t want to eat that, it will make you fat.” I quickly developed my own thoughts on what it meant to be fat. To me fat determined self-worth. I didn’t date in high school because I thought that no one would want to date a “fat” girl and didn’t attempt to have a relationship. If I had applied for a job and didn’t get it, I told myself that someone prettier and thinner must have applied. Why would anyone want to hire a fat girl? Telling myself I didn’t want to be fat caused me to lose any self-confidence I had. I was hyper focused on not wanting to be fat that the stress was too hard to handle. When I tried to diet and exercise I would lose inches and not weight. The longer the scale wouldn’t move the more stressed I became until I couldn’t handle it and gave up completely; instantly binging and gaining 20 lbs. Depression would sit in until I was fed up with being fat and decide to lose weight again, repeating the cycle. 10 years later I am nearly 300 lbs. The cycle still continues. Years ago I made up my decision on what being “fat” means, I was wrong. According to Merriam-Webster.com Fat by definition is: having a lot of extra flesh on your body: having a lot of body fat. Yet society insults obese people making us feel useless and unwanted. As an obese woman I want to lose weight, become a healthier person, and to achieve it I have joined weight watchers. I have promised myself I will not give up and I can reach my goal. Here is my final plea to you society. Right your wrong. Because of you, I have been unnecessarily broken. I have had unrealistic ideas of what it means to be fat and all I ask is for your support. If you see an overweight person doing physical activities, honk your car horn and give us a thumbs up. Wave with a large smile on your face or give us a word of encouragement. Lift us up instead of tearing us down. Developing a healthier lifestyle is not easy and any extra support would be gladly welcomed. Fat shaming can end if we come together. |
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