It is hard to believe I filled my journal, but I did! Here is the continuation of my journal if you would like to journey with me through the ups and downs of life.
I am glad that the move is done, even though it will obviously take time to get unpacked / packed up / cleaned & sorted, & even more time to build a sense of new safety & strength in your home. You will get there. It is massive, what you're experiencing, & I hope truly that you get some release, when the time is right, with your music.
I wouldn't be going to the funeral either. Different, of course, if your children want/ed to attend, but as an individual choice, I absolutely understand why you don't want to go to the funeral.
I am so sorry, too, about your mother, & your relationship with her. Dare I say it sounds like a good thing that you live on different continents?
Sending you all my love. Wish I could drop by for a working bee, followed by vodka -
Oh man, I feel your rage, I respect & understand it. I am SO sorry you're being put through this.
England is apparently very big on rules, & on sticking to them without heeding individual stories; that's been the main complaint of my cousin, who's lived there for thirty years- he loathes the inflexible & inhumane bureaucracy.
Looking for work now is out of the question.
I admire your strength & sensitivity, & wish you courage, & send you love.
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, I am so, so sorry, & sorry too for my tardiness in reading this heartbreaking entry.
I am shocked & sad & sorry, & I'm here, even though I'm far.
Sending you my strongest support & love.
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