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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Stik to My Own Beat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👼intuey

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

December 8, 2020 at 12:28am

#999848

The most wonderful time of the year for pot brownies.

"JAFBG" prompt: This is the most wonderful time of the year! Now, tell us why that's total bullshit.

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" prompt: There are many types of brownies:
Fudgy, cakey, 'special', with or without nuts, etc... Tell us something about brownies.

Is someone offering special brownies? I mean, I'll take some? I dunno if you all have ever gotten 'special' treats before, but the portion sizes are really funny. It'll be like a gummy bear and they'll be like, yeah, start with a tiny amount, like 5mg, which is half a gummy bear. So you're supposed to just bite its head off?

It's hilarious because we're used to eating way larger portions of snacks. It's super easy to overdo edibles because one cookie will be like 8 servings. It takes a while to kick in too. Everyone I know who has taken edibles has eaten too much at least once. It's like a rite of passage.

Anyway, this time of year is so far from wonderful. I got disillusioned to these holidays fairly quickly when I saw people acting nice for 3-5 weeks and then spending the next 3 months until spring acting like dicks to everyone. You shouldn't just be nice and pleasant around the holidays. You should always be a respectful, kind, and thoughtful person.

Working in retail during the holidays was the nail in the coffin for any kind of holiday cheer for me. It's basically just a rat race of trying to prove that you give a fuck about people by buying them something. Even if you try to make it not about that, your hand gets forced through societal expectations. It's just, um, stupid.

I still haven't mentioned my friend staying with us over my holiday break to Kira. I know I need to because he'll be here for almost 3 weeks, so it's kind of important. But I also know it's going to be a thing so I'm not too eager to deal with it. Especially because I've basically already made my mind up about it. Like, we can discuss it, but I'm also not going to compromise.

I've hardly taken any days off from work all year. I even worked while recovering from surgery. So I want to spend my time off however I want to spend it. It's one of those things where you know everything someone's going to say before they say it, so you don't even want to listen.

I also decided that I'm going to go deliver my nieces' and nephew's gifts to them. I'm not going to go inside or stay for a visit or anything, but I need to get out of the house anyway and driving for a few hours will help me get a change of scenery. Plus, I want them to at least see me so they'll remember that I still exist.
I'll do that probably the weekend before Christmas because I'll already be on my holiday break by that point. I could just mail the gifts to them, but it's not like it's dangerous to be in my car with people I live with or anything.

Oh, I almost forgot!

I'm planning on doing "52 in 52"

in 2021. I've barely been writing, but I've been reading a lot all year. I like the idea of doing a themed reading challenge. I've been gathering 3 book ideas for each category. Once the week rolls around, I'll read a sample of each book from my library before picking whichever one I'm going to read for that week's theme.

Week 1 is A book with the first letter of the title being "A". The three books I'm debating between are:
Allegedly

by Tiffany D. Jackson
A Separate Peace

by John Knowles
And Then There Were None

by Agatha Christie

The challenge should be pretty easy because it allows you to just blog about the book you read that week. Easy enough to slip into an entry once a week. A lot of times I don't do reading challenges because they require product reviews and I hate trying to give star ratings to books. I mean, if I finished a book, I at least mostly liked it. I'm not the type who struggles through a book if I'm not enjoying it. You have, like, 50 pages to grab my attention and hold it. If I get that far into a book and I'm not enjoying it, I just assume it's not for me and toss it into the "did not finish" pile.

I made a Goodreads account to try to track what I read in 2021. I thought I had an account before, but couldn't seem to find it.

Anyway, if you're doing the challenge too and want to be friends over there (or if you just read a lot), feel free to add me:

https://www.goodreads.com/charlieabney

And I’m just a risk
A colossal near miss
Prone to resist what is best for me
~TA

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