It might rain today or tomorrow in Udon Thani. Next Sunday they may have thunderstorms in time for Songkran. Last year it went over 40°... hopefully not this year. Very hot at night though; it's definitely summer in Isaan.
We don't know the stories tucked into the pages of an unopened book. Slowly... we learn them. Pan has stories about his family and growing up that he has only eluded to. I suspect they are the source of much pain.
Each and every day we learn, and today was a learning day for me.
I learned...
I will feel on top of the world and as low as can be all in the space of a few hours....and that's Ok.
I cannot use blame or my past as an excuse to use drugs.
What a profound effect I have on people, and just how powerful that is.
That when opportunities come, I must be present enough to take advantage, wise enough to recognise, and humble enough to accept a helping hand when it is offered.
Although I want so much to find happiness and success...disappointment cannot be an excuse to return to my addiction.
It is my responsibility to be proactive and search out avenues of support...to keep knocking on doors until someone opens and sees how committed I am to living life without drugs.
I am worthy of recovery.
If I work for what I want, I will appreciate it so much more when it comes.
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