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 Each day feels new, and my memory of the one before is faint. I’m learning to adapt. |
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In September 2019, a seizure revealed a lime-sized meningioma pressed against my hippocampus—the part of the brain that governs memory and language. The doctors said it was benign, but benign didn’t mean harmless. Surgery removed the tumor, and three days later I opened my eyes to a new reality. I could walk, I could talk, but when I looked at my wife, her name was gone. I called her Precious—the only word I could find. A failure of memory, yet perhaps the truest name of all. Recovery has been less cure than re-calibration. Memory gaps are frequent. Conversations vanish. I had to relearn how to write, letter by halting letter. My days are scaffold by alarms, notes, and calendars. When people ask how I am, I don’t list symptoms or struggles. I simply say, “Seven Degrees Left of Center.” It’s not an answer—it’s who I’ve become. |
| There’s an odd limbo I fall into every time I finish a writing project. It’s not rest. It’s not celebration. It’s more like wandering around my own house, opening cabinets and forgetting why I walked into the room. My brain keeps asking, Shouldn’t we be writing something? and I keep answering, I know… I know… I’m working on it. I always think the “in-between” will feel peaceful, like a mini vacation. Instead, it feels more like I’ve misplaced my keys, my plot, and possibly my sanity. I suddenly remember every abandoned idea I ever had and start poking at them like leftovers in the fridge. Some are still good. Some should have been thrown out a long time ago. I try to relax—read a book, drink a hot cup of coffee before it becomes iced coffee against my will—but the next story is always tapping on the glass somewhere in the distance. It never rings the doorbell politely. It just lurks until I notice it. So here I am again, between projects, pretending to be calm while waiting for the next idea to jump out and tackle me. It always does eventually. In the meantime, I’ll be wandering around, opening mental cabinets, looking for inspiration or at least a snack. |
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Sending prayers for continued improvement and recovery 
