%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!! |
|
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "This is pretty much what journals are all about, at least to me. I knew as I wrote them that even though they provided an excellent place for brain (and heart, and psyche) dump, they were mainly a map of me." --- Colleen Wainwright "Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it." --- David Sedaris "Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment." --- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey "In giving of myself onto these pages every day I allow myself to write regardless of the depth and meaning. I share myself with others without fear of recrimination for these are my thoughts, my feelings and my very being, and there are non who's opinion of me matters more than my own." --- Rebecca Laffar-Smith   The Writer's Round-About |
| Pre-blog Blog: Ok, I'm going to do another Page After Page entry but I wanted to begin with a sidetrack. My daughter asked me today, "Why does the word 'knife' start with a k?" I of course have no idea. So I attempted to find out via google. No luck finding an answer other than, "Because some tosser said so." What I did find was this delightful and very informative and also entirely (as far as I'm aware) correct satire from George Carlin's book, "Brain Droppings": http://www.sense.net/~blaine/funstuff/carlin.html Blog: Chapter two of Page After Page tends to deal with the independence and codependence of writers. The image of writers tends to be a hermit-like solitary figure, shut away in a dimly lit, book-filled room, scribbling or typing away for hours all through the night and falling into exhausted sleep when the pulsing energy of inspiration fades enough that the human batteries have to be charged. While in a way this image can be fairly accurate it generally isn't. Yes, writing tends to be a solitary act however writers, the best ones anyway, can't do it alone. We need the support of our family, our friends, we need support of others in the industry, an outlet to be embraced by as an equal. We need other writers because they are the only ones that really 'get' us. Writers need to be alone to write, but they need to have together time as well, to write. Exercise 2: a) "Write on your scratch paper the answers to these questions (write for 20 minutes): Do you want your "input" to look any different? Does your communal writing self need to be balanced, enriched? What would you need to do? What does your dream writing community look like? Who helps you with what, and what do you help others with, by way of the writing life?" b) "To enrich your public writing self, join a book group, or find an online book group or at least some lists of books other writers love. Can you commit to an hour a week of talking with others about books and their makers? Find smart, fun people by looking at libraries, colleges, newspapers, and bookstores for groups." c) Design a reading program. Create a list of books you want to read - books about writing, books like the ones you want to write, books other writers seem to be reading and loving, best sellers, classics, there are lots of lists of books. Create your own schedule. C) Ok, I'm going to work backward here. I'm definitely NOT going to write my list of TO READS. I'm not sure a TO READ schedule would work for me either. I'm never sure how long any particular book will take me to read. This Page After Page book for example is only 228 pages and it's taken me a few days already. If it had been a Mills and Boon romance it would be about that long and could be devoured in 2 hours. Different books require different ways of reading. I do however have a LOT of books on my TO READ list and more are added frequently. I wade my way though them. But I've actually started to schedule reading time. An hour of reading that goes into my workout time. I read while I work out. Fantastic way to take my mind off of the sweat.  B) I spent two hours at the library yesterday and I've started visiting the WDC chat room again. I have to be wary of the chat room. It's easy to find myself losing time in there that I could put to better use. But I really appreciate the atmosphere and sharing between other writing enthusiasts. There are also other community aspects thanks to WDC I enjoy so I think I'm doing well with this area.  A) Ok, I'm not so sure I should spend 20 minutes on this exercise. If I do I'll have more words than even my regulars could forgive me for in this blog entry. It's already pretty long as it is. But I do want to answer each question and get Exercise 2 done and done right. Do you want your "input" to look any different? I think the input Heather Sellers means here is the amount of soul feeding I give my writer self. I definitely want to increase my reading quota. I spend so much time online and I've found more time eaten up by the TV or DVD's lately when I'm would benefit more from putting my head into books. I love Heather's suggestion of SLEEPING with books. *grins* I do it already. lol There are three books on my bed. But I must need more so that my body is absorbing it while I sleep. Does your communal writing self need to be balanced, enriched? I'd also like to connect in person with other writers. This is challenging because of my little ones. Next year when my youngest starts school I plan to begin attending the weekly writers meeting at my local library again. But I'd love to find poetry readings and just, comfortable, relaxed get togethers with other writers. I want to connect with people in person in a social setting. I'd love to have writing sessions where we all come with the intension of writing for an hour or so. What would you need to do? *chuckles* I guess I just need to do it. Read more and go on the hunt for other writers in my area. Perhaps start a writers playgroup for mothers who want to write? *ponders* I could probably do that but it would be a huge undertaking and I don't really want to be the one people look to to lead the darn thing. I want the opportunity to learn from the experience of others not show newer writers the way. I do that enough here on WDC. I might start trolling the newspapers and perhaps spend some time browsing the web in search of writing associations in Perth. What does your dream writing community look like? Personally I want a group of writers I can reach out to and submerge myself in. A group that simply understands. Not one that has to share their work of hunts for reviews but simply talks the business. Shares our lives rather than our writing. Part of my long term goals also involves putting together a writers getaway which would have a mixture of writing time, lectures, readings, workshops, and chats in a relaxed atmosphere where if the muse ties you to your keyboard everyone else understands and someone brings you a sandwich. Who helps you with what, and what do you help others with, by way of the writing life? My friends here on WDC help me a great deal. They remind me of my strengths and push me to keep writing. They hold my hand or give me a hug when it's getting hard and they're there as a shoulder to cry on when I need one. They believe in me and want me to succeed. They know how important writing is to me and they understand how hard this business is. Other WDC members review my work which gives me a confidence and help me hone my understanding of techniques. Each day I get a number of reviews, most of them are warm fuzzies, what I call 'fluff' reviews, those are ok, they help me feel good about my writing but I also get some reviews that help me grow as a writer and improve my work. I'm truly thankful for those. My family and my loved ones support me. My kids know me as their writer mother. I've made sure that they know I do this as a job. I'm not just a mother, I'm a writer and when school friends ask what Mummy does they have an answer. I guess I have a bit of pride there, demanding a sense of respect. I mightn't have a great many writing credits at this point but I put a lot into my career and want everyone around me to treat me like the professional I am. Thankfully my best friend in the whole world pushes me and believes in me more than any other person in my life. Whenever I feel myself falter he's there to catch me. It's amazing the impact everyone in my life has on my writing successes. I've stopped sharing that side of my life with people who don't take it seriously.I give back to the community with my own in-depth reviewing and hosting the Persevering Poets Present. I've run contests in the past and in a way this blog is my return to the community. It's a glimpse into the life of a writer I suppose, the frustrations, the successes, along with the simple normalcy of living a life alongside the writer-life. I'm also open to helping anyone who asks and discuss and share what I've learnt so far with other writers all over WDC. Ok, so I've rambled on for ages. I probably did end up putting 20 minutes into that exercise. *blushes* Oh well. So I have a super long entry. What else is new. Reading is optional. Joining with your own responses would be fantastic! Thank you Anyea for taking part in yesterday's exercise. I loved reading your own answers and would love to see the answers of some of my other readers too. |
| Ok, so I'm abusing my blog time. Or rather I'm multitasking it. This book I'm reading Page After Page by Heather Sellers has exercises at the end of each chapter. In that way it's like many books on writing and sometimes I do the exercises, sometimes I don't. This time I thought I might as well, no harm in putting that much effort into giving these a try. So, I figured I might kill two birds with one blog and use my blog entry tonight to complete exercise one. So, without further ado: Exercise 1: 1. Describe the qualities of your ideal writing guidebook. What is covered? 2. Describe the qualities of your ideal writing class. What do you learn? 3. Describe yourself as a student. What are your best student-like qualities? 1. --- These activities actually say 'list' but I'm not so great with lists. I'm too verbose and I'd like to go into detail. You all know me by now, unless you're a new reader (in which case "Hi and Welcome!"). I don't have a little to say about anything. My ideal writing book would be one that has two words in it. "GO WRITE!" There are all these books out there that I want to read. I know how important it is to read as a writer and I love reading all books, not even just my favorite genres. I love all books. I'm often energized and inspired by reading. It's a fantastic way to recharge and renew my faith in myself. But seriously, sometimes it can be so captivating reading these books that I just want to keep reading. Perhaps instead of these exercises at the end of each chapter it all goes blank and instead just says, "GO WRITE!" Of course, that would still be too easy to ignore. I find I turn to books about writing when I'm struggling with a block or the fear is overwhelming me. I enjoy the reassurance in these books and I think I need that. I need other writers to tell me, "Yes it is hard but this is normal." "It's supposed to be this way." "It's not meant to be easy." I know when we read best sellers, or fantastic classics it FEELS easy. Because it feels so easy and enjoyable to read it's easy to think it came easy for the writer. It feels wonderful to be reminded that it's NOT EASY. It's HARD work, and that makes it all the more worthwhile. 2. --- I've never participated in a writing class so I'm not sure what to expect. I did, once, go to a writers group and hated it. Primarily because all members were expected to write on the same topics in the same style rather than being encouraged in our own specific desires. There is nothing wrong with having writing exercises but I don't want to write for topics I don't enjoy. I want the freedom to join with other writers. I want all of us to be writing what we really WANT to write. At the end of the writing period we can then talk about the experience writing. Not the words on the page but how we felt writing them. How hard it was, how confident we are in what was written, or not. I'd like a writing class where instead of comparing the quality of my work with other writers I'm given the freedom to simply share the experience of writing with them. I'd like that same writing class to do chapter or page exchanges. Each session we go in with what we've been working on all week and each person trades with another random person. That page is filed away and during the time between classes we give an in-depth review to that piece. We bring it back to class the next time and give it back along with our notes/review. The author can then pass the same work to another member to get more feedback or take the review home, rework it then bring it back another day. I'd like a writing class that focuses on teaching various tools and techniques. Ones that encourage confidence and helps tighten all writing. Perhaps a class that takes an item of work from everyone and captures the weaknesses in each then shows how to tighten it to the entire group so the whole class can learn as a unite from each others work. Or perhaps even just random paragraphs from a non-member or the host. I think it would be important to include various grammar techniques and basic language rules instruction here too such as the difference between verb, noun, pronoun, participle etc. 3. --- I call myself a life learner. I'm an insatiable student and want to soak and absorb knowledge. I'm a proactive learner too. I want to jump in, head first and sink up to my ears and then claw my way out. I want to experience what I'm learning more than simply reading or being told about it. I get bored with repetition, particularly when it's too easy. I want to be challenges and I want to get down and dirty with it. I want to work up a sweat. I want to push my boundaries and stretch my mind. I'm the kind of student who wants to question everything. I want to know WHY! Don't tell me it is if you can't justify WHY it just is. For example, why does a negative times a negative equal a positive? It just does? NO!!! WHY??? Show my how that works! I want to people to argue their point of view with me. If I say something that counters your beliefs then I honestly don't want you to back down and say believe what you want I WANT you to argue for your beliefs. Stand up for what you believe, CONVINCE ME! I mightn't change my opinion but I will respect you if you can argue your point. I'm adept at playing devils advocate, I'm going to toss logic at you. I'm not trying to change your believes but make you THINK about WHY you believe that I want you to be very sure you can maintain your faith. I want you to KNOW you're right, be so certain in your convictions that there is no doubt. As a student I want to try everything. I want to explore all subjects and I want to twist and mould them under my fingers. I think of knowledge like play-doh. It's solid but mobile, tangible, shapable. I want to experience subjects from all angles and know things to their deepest degree. I want to understand art. I want to analyse poetry and learn about the creators. I want to know the lives behind artists, politians, explorers. I want to know how the people who came before me did it. I want to learn from the people who succeeded in living their dreams and I want to know every step they took on their path. Ok, so that's the exercise done I guess. I've actually surprised myself having much stronger ideas of what I want then I thought I would when I read the questions. I didn't think I knew, but I guess I do. *chuckles* Anyone else feel like doing the exercise? |
| I ordered a selection of books from Amazon recently. I love books. I especially love brand new, just off the press books. Amazon is fantastic for these, books in pristine order that arrive neatly packaged in the mail. I've got a very lengthy wishlist on Amazon and somehow I keep adding more books to it faster than I could possibly afford to purchase them. lol But I love books. At the moment I've just started reading a new writing book. Page after Page: Discover the confidence and passion you need to start writing and keep writing (no matter what!) by Heather Sellers. Catchy title huh? I'm really enjoying the book although I clash a little with the writers voice and some of what she has to say. It's not that what she's saying is wrong exactly, but it's a little rough around the edges and voiced as if her way is the only way. There are so many writers who have made writing their life. They each do it their own way and I've found that there really isn't a single right way to make it work. There are so many books and guides out there. They market 'Write a book in 28 days' or 'Best Seller in a week'. It's a lot of hype but again, those sorts of systems just won't work for every writer. They're also based entirely on first drafting. You can't research and write in so short a time, or write and edit, or write and market, or write and find an agent. Yes, you can write a book in under two months. I've done it. The first draft of The Dating Game was written in 6 weeks. But it's by no means ready to hit the eyes of publishers let alone readers. The book process takes much longer than this outcomes. Anyway, I've wandered off point. Part of what I'm enjoying with Heather Sellers Page after Page is her empowering language. She might have a tone that grates to my anti-authority tendancies but she advocates self-empowering strategies. From what I've read so far I can see that she believes as I do, that you have time to write, if you make it for yourself. We all lead very busy lives. There are so many things we can fill up our lives with and sometimes, when writing feels difficult or isn't something you're truly passionate about it is so easy to fill up your time with other activities. When I reached the point where I couldn't stand not writing, I found that there is so much time I waste doing other things that don't fulfill me. One thing I don't agree with is that you don't need a schedule to write. I do believe that not everyone needs one but I know that I do. I know that since I started keeping track of my time and scheduling everything I can I get a lot more done. Having chunks of time set aside for writing is only the first step in what I do now. I also have various other tasks that has time allocated every day. This includes housework, and time with my children, even time to chill out, watch TV or play games or read is in there. Having it all there helps me make sure the important things get done every day. It's not something I stick to strictly. Just because I have Mental Meanderings scheduled in for 7:30PM doesn't mean it has to be done then. That is just when the notification will pop up to remind me to get it done today. If I haven't already done it I get prompted to make time, now, to do it. Tonight it's already 9PM but I've accomplished other tasks prior to doing my blog, it will still get done because it's on my schedule. Wandering again. *chuckles* I'm really enjoying this book and I recommend other passionate writers make the time to read it. If you don't have the time, it's just not a high enough priority in your life. You'll become a writer when it is, when you make the time to live it. I love to quote Stephen King when it comes to reading. "If you don't have the time to read, you don't have the time or the tools to write." |
| Isn't it strange how we can come to points where it just feels like our brains shut down? I feel like that right now. There is so much going on and yet it feels like overload, shutdown. I can't seem to pull enough threads of thought together to stimulate any particular idea or focus on any specific topic. This whirlwind of everything and nothing is something I'm coming up against more and more often. I wonder what it is. What causes it? Sometimes I think psychiatrists could spend years studying me. *chuckles* That sense of just being insane is actually rather relaxing. I don't believe there is any 'normal' way to feel and I've just come to accept my strangeness. Of course, moods like these make it hard to work. They make it hard to do anything at all really. I can't settle into a good mindless movie or read a book or write or even get housework done. I can walk half the length of the room and have completely forgotten where I was going and why. I can be mid-sentence and my train of though will have me tripping over, trying to remember what I was going to say. Even typing this I'm constantly tapping the backspace because my mind won't even focus well enough to spell and type correctly. I don't know the point of this entry. Except perhaps in that it IS an entry. Another tick on my schedule. Another task crossed off my to do list. Another sign of my dedication to writing every day. Rambling words that go no where mightn't lead into any sort of interesting blog entry but it's another few hundred words I wrote today. Another day I wrote. Another validation that I AM a writer. |
| Today was the day. Well for my sister it was the day she gets on a plane and flies to Europe for 7 weeks. But for me and the kids it was our "Adventure At The Airport". The whole reason we REALLY went there was to spend some time watching the planes coming and going. It was really quite a show too. The kids loved it. The noise, the smell, the lights, the speed. Planes would cruise in from the sky, squeel to a stop and then taxi about on the runway. There were even two big US Air Force planes sitting out on the tarmac although I've no idea why. Perhaps just having a yap with their Perth International buddies. *chuckles* Tax dollars hard at work as always. It was interesting watching the planes do their thing. They're loud, a roaring kind of loud that obliterates all other noise and makes you feel like you've been sucked into the engines. From the observation deck you can smell the gas fumes. It makes me think you just wouldn't want to light a match anywhere near the place without risking blowing up the whole airport. I've always loved the airport and wish I could just hang out there more often. I imagine it would be a fantastic place to write. When I was younger I used to hang out at train stations (instead of going to school) and people watched from there. Trains have that sense of commute, the busy, rushed turnover of hundreds of people going their own way. But the airport is heightened even more. The people getting on a plane aren't going to work, they're travelling all around the world. Everyone has their own stories and I like to imagine the lives of all those people. The pilots, leaving their families every day to fly from one side of the world to the other. The passengers, young women going abroad for a European adventure like my sister, well dressed men travelling for business, school children leaving for an adventure and experience as education, families exploring the world together. As we were waiting to check my sisters luggage there was a family in front of us. They had a well worn suitcase and ragged backpacks. The kids waited patiently with an air of nonchalence and the parents were calm and collected. It was clear this family had done airports before. They weren't rich but I imagined they really lived as they got to see the world. The children were worn, tired, as if they'd done this so often it just wasn't fun anymore. I can't understand that emotion. I've never flown. I've never been outside of my home state let alone this beautiful country. I'm the daughter of a man who lives for travel and have the travel bug born into me but never had the opportunity to give it its freedom. I can't understand how anyone could lose the sense of wonder at traversing oceans, of spanning countries. The world is a very large place, it would be impossible to explore every inch of it. I can't imagine feeling no wonder at that. Everyone has a story at the airport. Even the planes. Planes and jets going up, coming down. Luggage going on, coming off. I imagine the lives of everyone there. What kind of job is it to be the man who sits out for hours with orange lights flashing on the runway prepared to deal with any landing emergency. There hasn't been a crash in so long but I'm sure they have other opportunities to change the monotony of their day. The kids loved the adventure as much as I did and I wish I could take them to visit more often. Other than the overpriced food, the cost of driving so far, and the cost of parking, it's an inexpensive day out. It's cheaper than taking my rug rats to the movies. Of course, I can't deny my anxiety levels rose when my mind started wandering to me being the one boarding the plane, with two kids, later this year. *shudders* Scary! *chuckles* |
| I have a car for 6 weeks. One that I obviously cannot crash and that I'd prefer DIDN'T break down while I'm driving it. lol I swear, I have the worst of luck with cars. I'm an anxious driver at the best of times. When I was sixteen I had vowed never to get my license. I just don't like cars. But I went for a job a few months after I was old enough to get my licence and was turned down on the grounds that I didn't have reliable transport. It was incentive at the time to get my license, even if I never used it. I learnt that I needed glasses when I took the preliminary test for my learners permit. If I'd know that years earlier I would have saved myself a lot of school angst and headaches. My grandmother, a former driving instructor, taught me to drive and I passed on my first try. *beems with pride* I have to tell you, I thought I wouldn't during the test because I had a hill start in a manual into four lanes of traffic that caused me issues. I kept forgetting to take the handbreak off and was getting a little anxious about the fact each time the traffic cleared enough for me to go I wasn't going anywhere. Anyway, I stayed calm and realized my error and hadn't put anyone, particularly myself in danger so I still passed. I'm just glad they didn't test my parking or I really would have failed. Now I've had my license for years but still rarely drive. I used to have serious anxiety attacks getting behind the wheel but these days I'm more comfortable. I understand my limits and don't push them when possible. I avoid driving in heavy rain, I park at the far end of a carpark because I'm guarenteed to hit someone trying to park between cars, and I avoid driving into the sunlight or on roads I don't know well. Today my oldest sister flies to Europe for 7 weeks and my mother will be driving her car to keep it in good condition. (*chuckles* My sister isn't always logical, I don't think she takes into account the fact my mother dings her own every other month.) Anyway, while my mother drives that car I get full access to hers. Thus, I have a car for 6-7 weeks. I'll have to cover my own expenses, like petrol, in that time which will definitely tamper how much I make use of it but it will be nice to be able to avoid getting rained on to and from school for a few weeks. I hope it doesn't give me an excuse to get takeaway more often but with the way my cash situation is at the moment hopefully I'll refrain from such expenses. I'm not looking forward to giving the car back. I'm sure to become used to having access to it by then. I've been planning to buy a car at some point anyway but finances just won't allow. Perhaps having and then losing this car will help motivate me to save more and spend less. Perhaps... |
| It's my daughters birthday today. Well, actually it'll be tomorrow for WDC but it's already morning here in Western Australia so it's actually today already. This day way back in the year 2000 I was 17 and at about this time I'd have been at rest in a dark and rather dismal twin room with a newborn baby at my side. I was supposed to be resting after spending the past 24 hours in labor and being up all through the night at the hospital. She had been born as the sun was rising and her father (who was not yet my husband) and my mother had both stayed with me through the labor and headed home shortly after I was relocated to my maternity ward room. Seven years later I have a seven year old daughter. It's strange to think back and remember that day. I remember feeling very young. There was a big sense of "OMG what have I done." A lot of people frown on young mothers. I know because I was one. But they don't realize what goes on in your head that first day. Seeing your child there, helpless. You don't know her cries yet and you don't feel like you could possibly be any ones mother. It's a serious reality check and all of a sudden you're the life of this newborn, you're soley responsible for her and the way she turns out. For the rest of your life you're important, the most important person in the world for many years, to this little being you created. I feel like I've aged a lot in the past seven years. I know I'm still young and all my older readers will be thinking, "This girl knows nothing of getting older." But really there are some events in life that age you. It's not the day by day gradual process people think it is. You don't go from 17 to 24 and just notice the years pass. It's a faster process when you're younger I think. You might go 30 to 40 without too many significant leaps but 17 to 24 can be a pretty huge gap. I think I can look back and be proud of these past seven years. I got to grips with being a parent and I've discovered I'm pretty good at it. It helps to have two wonderful children, that are both bright and friendly. They work well together. My youngest practically worships his big sister, copies everything she does, and she adores him. I mastered diapers, baby food, learnt to cook for a family, survived a REAL birthday party (an experience I don't plan to repeat on my own), toilet trained a girl (toilet training my boy, it's a whole new experience with no Daddy around to show him how it's done. Mummy's can't pee standing up.) I've been through day one of school, and day two, and day two-hundred. I've been through playdates and Christmases, Easter hunts, and Mother's Days. I've been there in sickness and I've been there in health, at the park, at the zoo, on the ferry, on the train. Being a mother is wonderful and it's amazing to look at my seven year old and see a beautiful, lively, excited child. I can be proud of my daughter and proud of myself today. Looking backward on the years we've had and forward to the years to come. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but with the tomorrows that are behind me I can feel pretty confident that we can handle it, together. |
| Ok, here are some new odd spots. I know you've all been eager for new and interesting snippets of trivia just just NEEDED to know about. I'm pleased to once again bring you a mixture of the weird and wonderful, curtesy of Libra. 269: The garfish has green bones. 275: Hair grows slowest at night. 210: The skeleton of a 70kg body weighs about 13kgs. 165: If you have ozostomia, you are suffering from halitosis, or bad breath. 121: A woman's arthritic pains will almost always disappear when she becomes pregnant. 012: Ice cream was invented in China around 2000 B.C. 063: Cold water weighs less than hot. 246: The top cork-producing countries in the world are Spain, Portugal and Algeria. 148: A "vamp" is the upper front top of a shoe. 143: 48 teaspoons make up one cup. 096:Your body makes a new lining for your stomach every 3 days. 318: Cabbage is 91% water. 136: Cows, rice fields and garbage dumps are the largest producers of methane gas. 260: The statuette on Rolls Royces is called The Spirit of Ecstasy. 077: In ancient times, parsley wreaths were used to ward off drunkenness. 211: A Boeing 747 plane holds about 216,846 litres of fuel. 236: When first born a shrimp is male. Over time it gradually evolves to a female. 205: Argentineans eat more meat then any other nation in the world. 003: Americans consume about 100 acres of pizza per day. 056: It is estimated that a plastic container will not decompose for as long as 50,000 years. 158: The only part of the human anatomy that has no blood supply is the cornea. 032: Penguins have an organ above their eyes that changes seawater to freshwater. 115: A body temerature of over 42 degrees is fatal. 195: The skin of baby mice is so transparent that you can see the milk flowing into them as they suckle. So, now you know. Stay tuned for more odd spots next monthish. In other interesting news I've been ensuring my tongue remains agile. *chuckles* Tirzah recently did an essay for "Invalid Item"  about Dr. Seuss which sparked me into investing in a bunch of his books for me and my kids. Tonight my tongue is well and truly worked out from reading four Dr. Seuss books. They truly are a tantalising tongue twisting taste of torture. lol I must invest in even more. *chuckles* I might just have to get his entire works.Dr. Seuss' book are fantastic for mastering pronounciation and learning which words have similar sounds. Another educational tool, FOR ME! MINE!!! *looks greedily and keeps the books out of her kids hands* lol I'll read the books to them but they're on my writing shelf not the kids bookshelf. |
| With everyone around me seeming to delve deeply into serious issues today I did consider writing a general, "Go read these guys!" kind of entry but instead I turn my sights towards education. Not that education isn't one of those big issues we should delve into seriously. It is. But that's not why it's formost on my mind today. Today, or rather last week, I invested a rather big portion of finance into education for my children (and myself). It was a substantial sum and right now I'm both rejoicing and regretting the purchase. Rejoicing because my kids have already shown how much they LOVE it by voluntarily spending over an hour each with the software and regretting because BOTH had to be forcebly removed. My youngest is indeed, right this minute, throwing the BIGGEST tantrum of his life, "I WANT MORE!!!" Clear as a bell, "I WANT MORE!" *chuckles* I'm not really complaining. I'm actually very excited. He's TALKING, real talking. Sure, his pronounciation isn't perfectly clear, his diction could use work but those are words, real words that translate in English for anyone who listens to his speach patterns. His vocabulary is growing every day and thanks to this new software I'm actually watching him learn right before my eyes. In a matter of hours he went from knowing none of his colors to 80% accuracy. He want from knowing none of his shapes to 60% accuracy. He's coloring pictures. He's fantastic with his animal sounds. He's able to work out problems and use keyboard commands. He has excellent mouse control. My daughter is doing maths problems and the only complaint I'm getting is, "It's TOO easy!" *grins* It progressively gets harder as she works through the easy problems so in no time at all she'll find it challenging enough. They're playing games with bright colors that teach them their numbers, mathematics, spelling, increase vocabulary, design sentences. I actually bought the system more for myself than anything. Some of you may already know that I never graduated high school. In the strict sense of the word anyway. I did go the full ten years however my participation was near to nil in my ninth year (when I was suicidal) and when my mother picked up that something was seriously wrong she switched me to an alternative school where I repeated the year. It was a private school we couldn't afford so when I was legally old enough to leave, I did. That was a decision I've seriously regretted since. But it taught me the hard way how vital education is and with my own children, and with myself, I've truly valued learning. It's important that learning is fun and challenging. It's important that a child feels they CAN learn and aren't held back by the 'average' levels of their classmates. It's also important that those who fall behind are given the extra attention they need to catch up. I'm hoping this software and the tutor program that supports it will help give my own children an edge. But that's not why I bought it. I actually bought it for ME! Because as we explored the curriculum and as I've learnt over the past years since I left school I am seriously behind in many areas. There is so much I didn't learn. I was shocked to discover I have only a Grade 4 mathematical competency. GRADE 4. That's Primary School. I remember grade 4 and I remember hating maths because I just couldn't 'Get It'. Multiplication tables. We rehersed them, on rote, every damn morning for the whole damn year. And I HATED it. I never learnt them. I still don't know them. I couldn't tell you what 8 times 4 is without working it out on my fingers or by writing 8 four times on paper and adding it together. I got through because I was adept with a calculator in high school. But without multiplication I could never learn so many of the other aspects of mathematics. Find the area? Huh? HOW? If a train going this fast left this point and a train going that fast left that point where would they meet? Huh? You mean they don't crash? Why are we talking trains anyway? I just don't get it. This software however is designed to take a newborn baby through to year 12. It starts with basics, number recognition. Knowing which number is which. It even has pretty pictures. Count the duckies. How many duckies are there? How many houses are there? Which number is missing in this sequence? It starts with easy addition and subtraction then moves along progressively. Filling in all the missing bricks in your education or ensuring they're all firmly cemented into place as you learn. I've already watched my own math skill increasing and I started from the basics. I'm still in the easy stages but no longer daunted so much by bigger numbers. Even addition is a struggle for me with larger numbers but I'm learning ways to make it easier to handle. Maths isn't the only wonder of the education software however. It's also got a Reader program that improves sight reading, structure, speed, comprehension, vocabulary, etc. I'm finally learning what past, present, and past participle actually means and which words are correct. There is so much about language I was simply never taught. I've come across these things as a writer and never understood. I haven't, alas, found anything for punctuation grammar in the program yet but that doesn't mean it isn't there. The tutor line, however, is open for ALL questions. If there is no way to learn grammar in the software I can call and ask them my grammar query. If I can't figure out how to do a particular maths problem I can call. If the kids need an explaination that I can't give them I can call. If my oldest needs help on her health homework (when she eventually gets some) she can call. Basically, I'm infatuated and my kids are too. *chuckles* While it's going to hurt making the repayments I believe this program is more than worth every dime. I'm looking forward to filling in a few of the gaps in my education. And who knows, perhaps I'll gain the confidence to go back to school next year like I'd like to. I really would love to get a degree in English but I know with my present education I could not pass the high school equivelency test required to get in let alone manage the coursework. Kids, stay in school. *grins* You won't understand how important it is until you miss that opportunity. All that crazy stuff they're teaching you really IS needed in life. Wish I'd believed that back in the day rather than thinking I'd do better on my own out in the real world. Wow! Talk about a ramble. Now I've nattered your ear off it's time to get back to my study. *winks* |
| My back hurts. Not the regular did too much kind of hurt but the deep to the bone ache that is a herald of tension, stress and strain. I haven't physically been doing very much, which is actually part of the problem. If I were working out more regularly and getting back to the daily walking I'm sure I'd be feeling better. Instead I've gone from two weeks of very little activity into this week where I've worked quite hard. I mean two days ago I was digging a vegetable patch. This is tantamount to disaster if you're not fit to begin with. But I was full of energy and raring to go so I set to it and dug to my full strength of about 30 minutes. It was a good workout and I enjoyed it. No aches or pains after that and I kept my fluids up. But I haven't been sleeping well. In fact most nights I'm exhausted from about 5PM but even after the kids are in bed around 7:30ish I can't shut my mind down so that I could sleep. It wanders and revolves. I attempt to work, and some nights I do get some reviewing or poetry done, some nights even both. I get my blog done each night too. At the back of my mind revolves the two books that are foremost in my thoughts. The Flight of Torque is primarily in focus because I'd set my course toward finishing that book first. The stress of finances is also hanging heavily over my head at the moment. Some weeks and months are tighter than others. Now each day I'm trying to think of ways to supplement my income because at the moment it's just NOT making ends meet. I don't know how to get more clients for the copyediting service I offer. I'm forever feeling like I CAN'T seriously apply for that kind of work or even recommend myself. I have no degree. I didn't even graduate year 9 English. How could I possibly suggest people pay me $25US an hour to correct their documents? I have one client. He's sporadic but loyal. Over the past three years I've done perhaps a dozen commissions for him but it's not regular or often enough to even reach the edges of the tax free threshold. I guess I should focus more on submitting for publication. My poetry and articles might be publishable. I don't know. It all feels particularly overwhelming when I start thinking in that direction. There are just so many markets and I don't know where to begin or what to say. I know it's the sort of thing I'll get more familiar with by doing so I really should just stop complaining and start acting. *sighs* Knowing that doesn't make it any easier to do it. Especially when each submission takes weeks to be responded to and rejections are pretty much guaranteed to be more common then acceptance. I've also been thinking that I need to write the final 16 of the Nature's Sonnets I want to put together for an Anthology. I think this might be my primary goal at the moment. I've planned for two years to publish a book via Lulu.com of my Shakespearean Sonnet's but I simply don't have enough content yet. I have 9 poems for the collection so far, each still needs a little tinkering I would thing but they're fairly good. I want to put together a book of 25 poems. Anyway, one top of my concerns about being unable to get past the fear that holds me back from working on either of my books it all equals a great deal of stress. Enough stress to give me this sense of complete physical weariness, exhaustion, restlessness and pain. It’s an all-consuming ache that reaches deep into the core of me and seems to clench all of my muscles in a spasm of pain. Nothing seems to work to relax either my muscles or my mind. Does anyone have a remedy that deals with the basic heaviness of carrying the world on ones shoulders? |
 Log in to Leave Feedback |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
I'll let you know when I get it done.