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 |  I write, therefore I am |
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I write, therefore I am. I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough. PLUGS:
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| Here it is almost three thirty in the morning and I am listening to the radio. The song playing is Hold Me Now, by the Thompson Twins. It's funny how a song can trigger memories. Just the sound of this song for some reason reminds me of a lot of the women I had dated when I was younger. I can't stop myself from thinking about LeAnn, and the smile she used to always wear that just looked as if she knew something that you didn't and just maybe, just maybe, she would teach it to you. It makes me think of Kristina and the way her eyes would light up sometimes. It makes me think of Dee and the moist heat that used to imminate off of her lips when we made out. I always feel a little sad after hearing that song. When I hear a lot of Hank Williams' old songs they make me think of my Uncle James. I remember when I would stay home from school sick, he would babysit me, I would lay down on the sofa and drift off to sleep listening to him sing those songs and the soft creaking bump of the rocking chair. Even now I can't listen to, I Promise You I Will, by When In Rome. Its brings back to many painful memories. But by the God's how I love music. Quote: If you was hit by a truck and you was lying out there in that gutter dying, and you had time to sing *one* song. Huh? One song that people would remember before you're dirt. One song that would let God know how you felt about your time here on Earth. One song that would sum you up. You tellin' me that's the song you'd sing? Sam Phillips (Dallas Roberts) - Walk The Line |
| Well I have begun to "Novellize" my life story as it were. I'm surprised to feel how nervous I am over the prospect of the whole thing. I put up an Author's note stating that while the story is non-fiction there are some elements of Fiction, because I figured to flesh it out I would have to add some things to the story. Well I have written the first chapter and I find that is not the case so far. I have added somethings, but they are just things that were left out the first time. I don't think I really want to add any fiction to the story. I think the story is sad and traumatic enough without adding fiction to it. I mean I can't hardly make it any worse than it actually was. If I add some fiction to make it brighter, than I am taking away from the story. Oh well. We shall see how it goes. I have yet to get a response to the pieces yet. As a matter of fact I think the prologue was only read once. Is that a good thing? "Invalid Item"  by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor Quote: A man tells so many stories, that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal. Will Bloom (Billy Cruddup) - Big Fish |
| I wonder if I am ready to revisit the past enough to flesh out those past entries. I know there are little things that were left out, somethings that were mentioned, but never touched on. If I were to flesh things out would I have to lose the little touches to the writing that are me? Again something to think on. Hmmm. Quote; If this is a dream, the whole world is inside it. Sam Foster (Ewan McGregor) - Stay |
| I have introduced a friend to my portfolio here at WDC. I told him to stay away, but he started reading from my BLOG. We went through and read all the entries from my life story (entries 170-192). When we were done I went back and read all of the comments those entries recieved. I think I have almost made a decision. I am thinking about moving those pieces into a Novella, maybe fleshing them out a bit more. I find rereading some of those entries that they are very power and, not to brag, some of them are very well written. Anyway it is something to ponder. Everyone who has read those entries talk about how it is hard to stop reading them. Maybe with a little more meat on the bones I could solicite the story for publication. Hmmmm, something to consider. I will think on it. |
| It's hard to believe that five years have passed already since the Towers fell. I didn't see any of the 9/11 movies that came out thise year because I felt it was too soon. Even now when I see it talked about on the Discovery Channel or somewhere else it brings a tear to my eyes. I was on vacation that morning. I woke up and called a friend to see if he wanted to see a movie and he told me that a plane had hit one of the towers. I thought that he was joking. I turned on the TV just in time to see the second plane strike. As I sat dumbstruck and watched as the towers fell, a feeling of almost total helplessness came over me. I don't think I can put into words how I felt the rest of that day. A friend of my bestfriend's wife was worried about her husband who worked in the Pentagon, it was just a bad day all around everywhere. The strange thing was that when you went out people seemed to be nicer than usual. I thought that was the sadest thing of the day. That it took a great tragedy to get people to act better toward eachother, if even for one day. It's been five years and still my heart, prayers, and thoughts go out to those who died or lost loved ones that day. |
| It seems that as fast as the depression was creeping around the back of my mind it has faded away. IT happens like that sometimes. It's weird. It's like I tetter on the edge of a great abyss of darkness and at the last second I fall back into the light and things aren't as bad as they once seemed. Still it is a constant battle; to maintain myself, and keep the dark beast at bay. Somedays are harder than others. I have never taken medication for my problem. I would rather fight my way through it instead. Smart? Maybe not, but that is the way I prefer to do it. |
Today I was rereading through some of my past reviews and I found one that almost broke my heart. It was from VerySara   . It's hard to believe that she has been gone from us almost a year already. I still can't believe how sudden she was snatched from us all. I still think of her alot and miss her humor and support.I still miss you Sara. |
| Stever Irwin, known the world over as the crocodile hunter was killed in an incident with a stingray while filming a documentary. It seems that a giant stingray killed him when it attacked sending it's sting barb into Irwin's chest. Rest In Peace |
| Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's have been over a month since my last confession. Things are going well with myself and the Angels. I have been really busy the last month and have a hard time getting on the site. I really miss this place and I miss all my friend here. Anywho, I have started writing again, we shall see how long that lasts. lol. A while back a started a story for some writing contest where you had to write a novella from prompts. I felt the story was moving to quick so I stopped writing it. A little over a month ago all three parts were put in the Horror newsletter and it got me thinking about the story. Then I saw an awesome movie called Brick. It is a noir story taking place in a high school. That got me thinking about my story again. Then I thought what if I started working on the story, but instead of making it a normal werewolf story, I give it some noir twists. I have written a prologue, but I am not sure what I think about it. Of course like everything I post it is only a rough draft, but I'm not sure about it. "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor In case anyone wants to peruse it and give me some opinions. Hopefully I will be around a bit more. See you all around the horse trough. |
| Finally today I did it. I stood before my Angel and asked for her not to leave me. I told her that for the first time in so long I have been happy. I said the she and the little Angel have brought me the peace and calmness that I didn't think I would ever find. She started crying and for a minute I didn't know what to do, then the slapped my chest and hugged me asking me what took so long. She did want to take the job, because of the money and the closeness to her parents, but after she accepted it, she didn't want to leave me, but when I didn't put up a fight for her not to go, she assumed that I didn't want her to stay. So she is staying now, but after I left I felt kind of ashamed. I thought, what if she regrets staying. What if I can't make her happy. Have there been so many troubles and depression in my life that I will not allow myself to be happy? Will I always destroy things and push people away who are best for me? Well at least I will be with her for a little while longer. Quote; You had me at hello Dorothy Boyd (Renee Zellweger)- Jerry MaGuire |
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