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An experiment sends a scientist to a world where animals rule the humans |
| [Introduction]
This is the story of Eugene P Thistlewhite who's dorky name seems to perfectly fit his small weedy body and meek demeanor! He became an astrophysicist because he thought space was awesome but lately he's found himself entangled in something weird! His boss has a morbid obsession with the eventual heat death of the universe fearing it like it will actually happen in his lifetime...And lately Eugene suspects his Boss thinks he will live that long...What else is he planning? So, his Boss has everyone working on this 'Star Gate' based on his hypothesis that there are multiple universes, some older, some younger and the way to survive the death of the universe is to 'jump' to a younger universe |
| Eugene had no idea how it happened upon their first test of the 'Star Gate' he got sucked in! And found himself tumbling down what seemed like a tunnel of psychedelic rainbow colors until finally he emerged on the other side, and he found himself falling... Luckily his fall was broken by a fluffy white rabbit...A human sized white rabbit...Wearing a red shirt and pantaloons. Eugene heard a crowd gasp, and he saw a crowd of various rodents and rabbits all human sized and dressed in clothes like from a Renaissance festival next to him was what looked like a Hairless Rat Woman asking "Professor Longears! Are you all right?" And the Rabbit-Man said weakly "I think my spine is broken..." |
| Eugene scrambled to his feet, blinking rapidly, his lab coat half-tangled around his legs. The crowd pressed in, mice in waistcoats, squirrels in ruffled blouses, and one badger wearing a monocle. Their eyes were wide, twitching whiskers and all. The Hairless Rat Woman helped the rabbit; Professor Longears, apparently, sit upright. “Oh dear,” she murmured, examining his back. “You’ve been flattened like a flapjack.” “I’m so sorry!” Eugene blurted, wringing his hands. “I didn’t mean to...well...I didn’t know I’d land here! Wherever here is!” Dozens of furry faces turned toward him, whispering. A young field mouse gasped, “He’s bald!” Another added, “No tail! Is he diseased?” Eugene adjusted his crooked glasses, looking from one creature to another. “No, no-human! I’m human!” “Human?” the Hairless Rat Woman tilted her head. “Those are just myths.” The rabbit groaned, clutching his back. “Well, myth or not, he’s heavier than a myth ought to be.” “Wait!” Eugene knelt beside him, awkwardly patting the rabbit’s shoulder. “I-I can help! I’m a scientist! Well, not that kind of scientist, but, uh, do you have a hospital? A vet? A chiropractor?” A murmur rippled through the crowd again. Finally, the Hairless Rat Woman sighed. “You’d better come with me before the Guards arrive. Strangers falling from the sky tend to attract... attention.” Eugene swallowed. “Guards?” “Royal Guards,” she said, lowering her voice. “If they think you’re one of his creations, you’ll be taken to the labs.” “His?” Eugene echoed, heart quickening. “Lord Burrowbane,” she whispered. “The one who says he can open doors between worlds.” Eugene froze, staring at her. “You mean...he’s building a Star Gate too?” Her whiskers twitched. “A what?” But Eugene’s stomach dropped, because he suddenly realized...he might not have been the only one to make it through. |
| Eugene helped get things ready for Professor Longears he asked the Hairless Rat woman what her name was. She blushed "My name's Slinky..." She said "Like the toy?" Eugene asked "I don't know about any toy..." She said "...I was named after the fact we rats tend to 'slink' about in the night Professor Longears was one of the few in our Kindom of Rodentia who was willing to give Rats a chance...I was his secretary." |
| Eugene followed Slinky through winding burrows lit by glowing mushrooms and tiny oil lamps. The air smelled faintly of earth and roasted nuts. Every now and then, curious rodents peeked out from holes in the walls, whispering as he passed. “Not every day a sky-thing drops in,” Slinky murmured, glancing back. “I didn’t exactly plan on it,” Eugene said, ducking beneath a low archway. “Your tunnels are...impressive. A bit cramped, but impressive!” She gave a small smirk. “Built for sensible creatures, not lanky beanpoles.” They entered a larger cavern filled with wooden tables, papers, and strange contraptions powered by spinning hamster wheels. In the center, Professor Longears lay on a cushioned mat, surrounded by worried assistants. “He’ll mend,” Slinky said softly. “He’s tougher than he looks.” Eugene exhaled in relief. “Good, because I still feel horrible about that landing.” Before Slinky could reply, a loud clang echoed through the tunnels. A deep horn sounded, three short blasts. Slinky’s ears flattened. “Oh no,” she hissed. “The Royal Guard. They must’ve tracked your arrival.” “Tracked?” Eugene blinked. “You mean they saw me fall?” “Worse,” she said, snatching his wrist. “They think you’re part of Burrowbane’s experiments!” Eugene’s heart skipped. “Experiments? You mean...genetic?” Slinky didn’t answer. She dragged him toward a hidden passage behind a stack of scrolls. “You want to live, human? Then keep your head down and follow me.” As they slipped into the shadows, Eugene caught one last glimpse of Professor Longears opening a single eye and whispering weakly, “Slinky...protect him. He’s from...there.” Eugene’s blood ran cold. From where? |
| Slinky opened a trapdoor in the floor, and they entered a hidden hiding space. "OK..." Eugene panted "...Where am I?" "You're in the Kingdom of Rodentia..." Slinky said "...The Rodent Kingdom, one of the many Animal Kingdoms of Pangea!" "Pangea?!" Eugene exclaimed "Er...Yes..." Slinky said "But Pangea was millions of years ago during the Permian and Triassic Periods..." Eugene began to say "Yes..." Slinky said holding up her hand "...We know our world was once divided into many continents, that was before the Dinosaurs returned." Eugene felt the blood drain from his face and childhood memories of being terrified by Jurassic Park came flooding back "Dinosuars?" He squeaked "Yes..." Slinky said "...We don't know how it happened but one day the Dinosuars came back and the First High King Tyranno let out a mighty roar that caused all animals with a brain and face of their own to be able to stand on their hind legs and speak, Tyranno's second act was to bring all the continents back together again." |
| "How?" Eugene asked. "Magic," said Slinky. "Magic's a myth," said Eugene. "And that would be where you would be wrong," said a voice. Eugene turned his head, as a skunk materialized out of thin air. They were dressed like a jester. "Name's Badtaste," the skunk said. "Royal Jester to the Current High King Tyranno." "Your name sounds like bad taste," said Eugene. "Very appropriate," said Badtaste. "I can deliver bad news without much risk to myself." The skunk looked the human over. "He'd make for a cute pet for the Princess." |
| Eugene bristled. “Pet? Excuse me, I have multiple degrees!” Badtaste twirled a bell on his cap, unimpressed. “How charming. The hairless monkey can talk and brag. Truly, your world breeds wonders.” Slinky stepped protectively in front of Eugene. “Leave him be, Badtaste. He’s not a threat.” “Oh, everything is a threat these days,” the skunk said, tail flicking. “Especially to His Majesty, what with Burrowbane’s meddling and portals popping open like mushroom caps after rain.” He sniffed the air, then wrinkled his nose. “You do reek of stardust and singed ozone. Definitely outworldly.” Eugene blinked. “You can smell that?” “Part of the job. Bad news and bad scents.” Slinky crossed her arms. “You didn’t come here just to insult him. What’s the message?” Badtaste sighed dramatically. “The Royal Guard knows about your guest. They’re sealing the burrow exits and sending a Winged Patrol from the Avian Kingdom. His Majesty wants the human brought to him...alive.” “Alive?” Eugene asked weakly. “Not...dissected?” The skunk shrugged. “Depends on how entertaining you are.” Slinky groaned. “We have to move. If they find you, they’ll never believe you fell here by accident.” Eugene’s pulse hammered. “Where can we go?” “There’s an old burrow leading to the surface,” Slinky said. “If we reach the Hollow Woods, we can find the rebels.” Badtaste chuckled. “Rebels, rats, and runaway humans-what a circus!” He tipped his jester’s hat and vanished in a puff of blue smoke. Eugene stared at where he’d been, then looked at Slinky. “Was that magic?” Slinky’s whiskers twitched. “That’s what we call bad timing. Now move!” And together, they slipped into the dark tunnels as horns began to sound above. |
| "What about Professor Longears?" Eugene asked "He should be fine..." Slinky said "...We have a good sense of medicine here because of our sense of smell helps us in diagnosis." Meanwhile in the Dinosaur Kingdom of Gaia which was located in the Grand Central Desert in the middle on Pangea which was why it was hard for warm blooded mammals and birds wrapped in coats of fur or feathers to access it even if they were creatures built for deserts like camels, High King Tyranno the sixth in his line, monitored the situation through his crystal ball. At the same time, what most would call a ghost of a beautiful lady dressed in traditional Egyptian garb floated beside him. "This is bad..." The Lady Ghost said "...This outsider human could spoil all our plans!" |
| "Or, you can not be an idiot, and just let this person return to their home," Badtaste said, appearing next to them. "They probably want to go home to mommy and daddy." "Tell me where he is, or I'll eat you," said Tyranno. "That's a terrible thing todo," said Badtaste. "Your mates wouldn't sleep with you if you did that, and not just because your breath would reek." |
| Tyranno’s claws drummed on the arm of his obsidian throne. The crystal ball shimmered; inside its depths, the burrow where Eugene had fallen looked like a pale moving grain of sand. The ghost in Egyptian linen drifted nearer, her eyes like hollowed moons. “If he stays,” she whispered, voice like wind across bone, “the Princess will insist on making him a symbol. Your alliance with the Avian and Mammal courts will fray.” Tyranno’s jaw worked. He had spent decades sewing back an order torn by ancient wars. Portals suddenly opening in petty burrows threatened more than curiosity, they threatened control. “Bring him,” he said at last, low and slow. “Alive. And keep him presentable. I do not feed on the living unless absolutely necessary.” Badtaste gave a theatrical bow, bells chiming. “As you wish, Majesty. I’ll make sure he’s polished and ready for parade.” He sniffed and added, “And if the Princess wants a pet, perhaps she’ll choose a silk ribbon instead of a gnawed velvet collar.”   Slinky led Eugene over roots and through tunnels that smelled of sap and wet stone. Night insects hummed like a distant engine. Eugene’s mind raced, quantum equations had sure never prepared him for this. “We can’t go straight to the rebel camp,” Slinky said, pressing her palm to a fissure in a mossy bank. “Guards will be around the outer runs. We have a back route, but it’s- ” She hesitated, ears flat. “ -it’s watched by the Avian scouts at dusk.” Eugene swallowed. “Is there anywhere safe at all?” A low thump echoed through the earth and the ground seemed to breathe. From the fissure’s shadow stepped a figure cloaked in patchwork-mole-skin, goggles fogged with earth. One narrow eye flashed. “Mender Jore,” Slinky whispered. “If we can’t reach the outer ring, he’ll hide us in the Buried Vaults.” Jore’s voice was gravel. “You bring the human and the broken rabbit?” He regarded Eugene keenly. “We hide what the crown hunts. But nothing here stays hidden if the Princess demands a spectacle.” Eugene’s chest tightened. Slinky’s whiskers trembled. “She likes new things. Strange things.” She glanced back toward the tunnel exit where distant horn-blasts still rolled across the roots like thunder. “We move now. If the Royal Wing gets him first, there won’t be any returning home.” |
| "Why are you helping me so much?" Eugene finally asked Slinky "I mean...No offense...But I crash landed on your boss and your putting your own neck at risk." "I don't have that much to lose..." Slinky said with a shrug "Rats as I said are the very bottom of the social totem pole in Rodentia and besides you might be the key to what Professor Longears was trying to find out...What Burrowbane is trying to gain from his experiments!" |
| "Oh, he's trying to find other worlds that we can invade, and just take over," Badtaste said, as the skunk popped next to them. "You're getting very annoying," said Slinky. "All part of the job," the jester said. "I'm surprised that you haven't used your magic to poof me to the High King," said Eugene. "Because I would need to be grabbing you, or you would need to hold me, in order to move you with me," said Badtaste. "Something tells me, given what I've heard about Professor Longears, you are at least strong enough to make me let go before I complete the magic motions needed to enhance my teleportation spell, and given that you know who I work for, I don't see you willingly hold onto me as I make the necessary gestures to, again, make the magic work, unless, maybe, you're stuck someplace where life and death are on the line." "So, why would this Princess want me as a pet?" Eugene asked. "Well, think about it," the skunk said. "You're an exotic creature, from a far-flung world, never-before-seen, and thus, a potential status symbol to show off power. That, and since you're clearly not of the Tyrannosaurus lineage, the perfect Male to serve the Princess's curiosities without the risk of unwanted eggs." Eugene's eyes widened. "What?" "The Princess has reached the age of Maturity, and thus has been asking a lot of questions about sex," said Badtaste. "So, to keep their honor pure, traditionally, a mammalian servant get the job of serving as the Prince's or Princess's Personal Servant, and you're expected to perform many duties. Thankfully, practical sexual education is the lowest in terms of duties, as the main one is to be their bodyguard." "And you know this how?" Eugene asked. "I used to serve her mother in that role, when she was alive," said Badtaste. "She had a very kind soul, and was gentle to all beings." "So, how did you end up as a jester?" Eugene asked. "It was the Queen's last request, the last thing she asked me to do, so that I could look after her daughter, and perhaps guide her to be a good ruler," said Badtaste. "Besides, someone needs to tell the High King when he's being an idiot, and I can do so, and the High King won't eat me for doing so, as it's my job. That, and he doesn't want to chance me spraying him." |
| Slinky rubbed her temples. “That’s enough talk about royal mating customs, thank you,” she muttered. “You’re going to make him faint.” “I already feel faint,” Eugene said weakly, clutching his knees. “I fell through a black hole, crushed a talking rabbit, got chased by dinosaur guards, and now I’m apparently some kind of interdimensional...boy toy?” Badtaste grinned. “See? You’re catching on to palace life already.” “Out,” Slinky snapped. “Poof. Vanish. Whatever you do. Just...out.” “Can’t,” Badtaste said, tail flicking. “Orders from above. I’m to observe the human until further notice.” “That means spy,” Eugene muttered. “Semantics,” said Badtaste. Slinky groaned. “Fine. But stay out of the way.” She turned to Eugene. “We’re close to the Buried Vaults. They’re old tunnels, before Tyranno united the kingdoms. If anyone knows how to send you home, it’s the Moles. They still remember the old magics.” Eugene frowned. “So, there’s another kind of magic?” “Plenty,” said Badtaste. “But you won’t like theirs. The Moles deal in memory magic. They trade secrets for secrets...what you give up, you forget.” Eugene swallowed hard. “Meaning...if I trade something to go home, I might lose part of myself?” Slinky nodded grimly. “Your mind, your memories, maybe your name. It’s why few ever bargain with them.” Badtaste smirked. “But you, Hairless Wonder, might just be desperate enough.” A rumble shook the tunnel. Dust fell from the ceiling. Slinky’s ears perked. “They’ve found us. We move now!” Eugene stumbled after her, heart pounding, while behind them, Badtaste just sighed and jingled his bells. “Ah, the smell of panic. Reminds me of the court banquets.” |
| Eugene was thinking 'Oh man! What might I have to give up to survive and go home?!' He thought about maybe he could give up a memory he didn't want to remember...Like the time he wet his pants in First Grade, but they probably didn't want something so paltry..." Meanwhile King Tyranno paced back and forth in his chamber when the Ghost Lady came back "I particularly don't want this new human to discover the hidden warrens of the last remaining humans of this world..." She said "Yes, I know I know!" King Tyranno said "The humans of this world are still being punished..." The Ghost said "...Because they dared to use my mummified body as the final ingredient for their elixir to bring the dead back to life! And they used it on your ancestor to the First High King..." |
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