K'neto's Hotline

As requested by an avid caller, I'll try to squeeze in 5 items from my reviewing errands in the recent mini port raid.

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"Invalid Item"  :

Review To: vjanczuk
Reviewed Anonymously?: No!
Review Time: 08-12-05 @ 10:28am
Reviewer's Rating: 5.0
Review Length: 999 Characters
Review Follows:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your port has been raided by K'neto! You could expect a very honest and in-depth feedback for your item!


An excellent contest! Good luck to everyone of us!!!

Again you didn't put all the necessary links... I think the forum is the most important item in the event, and it's where everyone stays often, so it is just right to put all the items' links, which are related to the contest.

But anyway, it's still a nice idea to put up a micro-port raid especially for the pirates who want to have a grand comeback in their reviewing.

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"Invalid Item"  :

Review To: vjanczuk
Reviewed Anonymously?: No!
Review Time: 08-09-05 @ 11:19am
Reviewer's Rating: 3.0
Review Length: 1,301 Characters
Review Follows:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your port has been raided by K'neto! You could expect a very honest and in-depth feedback for your item!


"be" after "shall" >
Without the Sun, there...

In my opinion, the paragraph which starts with, "How can they be..." was not very convincing... perhaps you could insert more statements before it to give it a smooth entry to the piece.

Always remember the 3 qualities of a good essay: Unity, Coherence, and Emphasis. Work on these to improve your argument.

Your use of figures of speech complimented your piece significantly. Nice.

I felt there was something missing from your points... try to make sure you have proven what you are trying to convey. Practice your reasoning, as if you were just talking to a person, and trying to convince him with your point-of-view.

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"Invalid Item"  :

Review To: vjanczuk
Reviewed Anonymously?: No!
Review Time: 08-11-05 @ 1:22pm
Reviewer's Rating: 5.0
Review Length: 886 Characters
Review Follows:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your port has been raided by K'neto! You could expect a very honest and in-depth feedback for your item!


misspelled "Prologue"

In The Fetching, you suddenly shift to a first person POV.

My flame? >
It was only after the sun...

This is a mysterious piece... is the girl a witch?

I liked the way you ended this piece. Mysterious and intriguing... but entertaining.

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"Invalid Item"  :

Review To: vjanczuk
Reviewed Anonymously?: No!
Review Time: 08-08-05 @ 12:42pm
Reviewer's Rating: 4.0
Review Length: 1,192 Characters
Review Follows:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your port has been raided by K'neto! You could expect a very honest and in-depth feedback for your item!


You used "swim" twice here >
I swim quickly...

State the particular character who said this >
“It is our home,” they had said...

The "run" here is almost humorous, if not for the serious tone of the story (run... in water?) >
and I knew I must run...

This confuses me >
I know it is the end – if I swim further,...

Nice job on the climax by using "dodge" in the last 3 lines >
I dodge towards the bottom...

I suggest you revise the first sentence... save the "darkness" phrase for the last.

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"Invalid Item"  :

Review To: vjanczuk
Reviewed Anonymously?: No!
Review Time: 08-08-05 @ 12:01pm
Reviewer's Rating: 5.0
Review Length: 857 Characters
Review Follows:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your port has been raided by K'neto! You could expect a very honest and in-depth feedback for your item!


misspelled traditional >
I am currently marketing and promoting...

This is not the first item I have read in your port... You write with ease (I can feel it from your words)... and with heart... That's the way to capture the sympathy of the reading public. Nice job on this short piece!

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End of call.

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