Viktor's Reviews~Closed for Renovations

I would love to get your review on

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It's fantasy and I'd love you to hash at it. Some day I hope to have it good enough to send in to a publisher, so I'll take any and all hashing to get it there I have been told I'm wordy and use too many adverbs and I'm working to correct this but I still find it diffucult so any pointers you could give would be great.

Everything is under 25 kbs so I don't think I owe you anything (if I'm wrong just let me know, we'll talk ) and I don't have auto rewards (too many useless reviews) but I'll send a bribe your way, with the possiblity of more if I think your helpful

Thanks a ton!

Goobs