Hope you could review this short story. It's under 2000 words long:
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Disclosure (for what it's worth): This was originally the first chapter of a novel. I couldn't get going with the overall plot and didn't want to throw this chapter out (I thought it was decent lol) so I changed it into a short story and hope to submit for publication. The last 1/3 part (below the slashes - you'll see what I mean) is mostly what I added to make it a short story.
Hope you enjoy and, of course, many thanks in advance,
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