Writing.Com General Discussion

Hi. I'm often plagued by trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong and have asked or requested someone to proofread or edit my material. It's totally up to you. I'd love to figure out what I'm doing wrong, as I am still growing as a writer. I'm receiving lots of five star reviews but it seems to be missing that special, hurdle-jumping oomph to push it forward. Feel free to take a look. It might help make make me more interested in finishing the story, as it has a lot of religious implications; though I don't proclaim to be highly religious - it's simply a work of fiction that hasn't been touted very often. Thank you so much. #2035000 The Book.
https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2035000-The-Book