Writing.Com General Discussion

In other fun stuff, I skimmed the rest of the story. I'm still right about walls of text, of which there's many. :)

Catherine is definitely evil. Remember when I asked for what impression you wanted me to have? That's why I asked. Because my impression aligned with the rest of the story, but my suggestion to change Catherine's beginning doesn't align with her evilness throughout.

Though "drop the sighing" is still worth trying. :)

Still, having a hint of redeemability might make her worth seeing past the first section.

You also could play with her role in society (being married off like a business investment) to Najeem's role. That could score her empathy points.

Najeem's role in this seems weird. Why and how could he see Catherine like a sister. She's evil and it kinda shows. Why would the devil want his soul? He's not offering it, and in fact, of all evil the people, he might have the most respect for freedom of choice, and Najeem ain't choosing him or Catherine.