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by Laura Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · In & Out · Mystery · #1591658

This is the first paragraph of my story tell me what you think.

The waves licked the soft sand forcing a wash of white to spread over it like a clean sheet, a few seconds later that sheet dissolved and withdrew itself back into the vast cobalt sea. The wind made it hard for the waves to be gentle; I know they longed for it. They wanted the freedom to be calm. I wondered how much of my time I have spent dreaming of what the water would feel like on my skin, of how the salt would cleanse my pores and leave behind a thin crust. That thought was my best dream but also my worst nightmare.

: ~SilverMoon~ Author Icon @ 08-17-09 @ 5:43am
nice imagery but this is not where you do that. Usually we have people visit to make an ongoing story.

: ~SilverMoon~ Author Icon @ 08-17-09 @ 5:44am
check out some of the other introductions to the in & outs

: ~SilverMoon~ Author Icon @ 08-17-09 @ 5:45am
the crust is a little confusing though

: Steev the Friction Wizurd Author Icon @ 08-17-09 @ 9:06am
I think the first paragraph of a story is the easiest one to write. Then it gets harder and harder and harder... Which is why most stories are never finished. *Smile*

: r.j. brown Author Icon @ 02-28-10 @ 9:28am
i liked it.it was very good. good imagery. continue on it. and try to get it published. good luck. and hope your story turns out good.

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