"SEVENTH ANNUAL HESPER COUNTY WEIGHT GAIN CONTEST," read the flyer. I looked up at the manager, whose name, I had learned, was Mr Drake. 'Is this for real?' I asked, chomping on a piece of bacon. He nodded.
'Oh, yeah. Cafés who aren't exactly concerned about being health-conscious show off how good their food is by having a customer eat there for a month and see who gains most. We've never entered before, but I thought since you're here anyway... It'd be great exposure for us, and if you win there's a cash prize for you.'
I paused. He was right, I was going to be here anyway, and if I might even make some money out of it...
I finished my last fried egg and beckoning over the skinny blond waiter, whose name was Ollie, with my stack of blueberry pancakes. He winked as he put them down, and I smiled back. We'd gotten to know one another pretty well the last couple of weeks, and I liked having a friendly face bringing me food. "Okay,' I said, 'I'll do it.'
Mr Drake grinned. 'I thought you might say that,' he said, pulling some more papers out of his jacket. 'I took the liberty of filling in some forms for you. Could you just sign here?' I signed and started pouring syrup over the pancakes.
* * * * * * * *
The official start of the contest was the following Friday. Every week of the contest there was to be a big meal at one of the five participating restaurants, and the first was at Quando's Pizza in Marchport, the next town over. Drake drove me over, leaving Ollie in charge of Dee's.
'So I've been asking around,' said Drake as we came into Marchport, 'and there are four other places: one other in Hesper, two in Marchport, one over in Lakeview. Some of them might be tough competition – one of them's entering the guy who came in second last year.'
'How much weight do you think I'm going to gain?' I said, rubbing my belly. Ollie had packed me a bag of sandwiches – cheese and pickle, pastrami, meatball – but I'd finished them halfway to Marchport and was now feeling a bit nervous.
'Well, last year the winner gained eighty-six pounds over the month,' said Drake.
'Eighty-six?!' I exclaimed. 'In a month?'
'You'll be surprised how competitive it gets,' Drake said. 'And the way you get through our food... I'm counting on you coming at least third.
That didn't exactly assuage my fears, but it was too late to pull out now. We arrived at Quango's, a pizza place down a little side street, and went inside. It was a stereotypical Italian place, with red checked tablecloths and candles in winebottles. There was a crowd of people gathered, many of them rather on the tubby side, eating pizza and fries and talking excitedly. On a raised platform there was a long table with the names of restaurants in front of each place setting, and at the end, a scale, presumably to take our starting weights.
I looked around, and asked Drake if he could see any of the other contestants.
'Want to know what you're up against, eh? Well, I don't know if – oh! There's one,' he said, pointing. 'And I think you've already met.'
I turned, and saw in the crowd to my astonishment...
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