This choice: Tell Cindy you have a cousin visiting • Go Back... "My cousin’s coming in," you manage, before Keith can scrape together the two cents’ worth of braincells he has together to come up with something even worse. "And I was hoping Jenny might suggest some things to do."
"Doesn’t your cousin live in town already?" Cindy says. "I thought she was that Chinese girl…"
You nearly fall out of your chair. Cindy knows about Umeko?! Since when does she know anything about me and my family?! But you're too flabbergasted to do anything but gabble. "Umeko is Japanese-American," you say. "And this is another cousin. From out of town. Kind of upstate. The Martin side of the family." You have no idea why you’re stumbling around adding more detail than is necessary; it’s not like Cindy really has any say in this, or interest in your life.
"This cousin have a name?" Javits asks. Why he cares, you have no idea. Then, you realize, he doesn’t: he’s trying to hurry this up so you can get the hell out of here.
"Uh, sure…" you say, desperately trying to come up with something. Chai? Mocha? Frappuccino…
"Her name’s Renee," Keith – or rather Jenny – says with that thousand-watt confidence only a complete idiot can muster. "Renee Martin. She’s his older cousin, and was thinking of transferring to Keyserling. But Will’s too much of a nerd for her, so he wanted someone who knows the local scene." Jenny gives a double thumb, and directs it straight to her chest. "That’s where I come in. Right, Will?"
"Uh, right," you say, hurriedly, beginning to push your chair away in the hope of escape. "Anyway, I…"
"Well, you know my sister Lucy is at Keyserling, right?" Cindy interjects, cutting you off. You can see Javits’ eyes roll as he realizes the conversation isn’t over. "She could always give her some pointers about things. Right, Jenny? She’s probably in a better position than either of us."
"No, I mean, that… no, it’s fine, I’ve got this," Jenny stammers. And you can only see Cindy grow more uncomfortable. Again, there’s that silent glance: the classic ‘have I done something to offend you?’ look that Cindy’s mastered to perfection. "I’ve already given Will some ideas."
"Well, the offer’s there," Cindy says.
"Great, sounds like your problems are solved," Seth says, wrapping things up. "Bye, Prescott."
"Right. Uh… bye," you manage, finally managing to stand. You wait, awkwardly, for Jenny to join you, but she doesn’t seem to take the hint. And, by the time she does, Cindy’s already begun to talk again. You want to sit back down, but the glance from Javits makes it crystal clear that your presence is not welcome, nor required.
Your only option is to leave. And hope to god that Keith doesn’t need babysitting.
Even though you know he does.
***
"You fucking did what?" you blurt. Caleb is just as fuming.
"I didn’t know what else to do, dude! Cindy kept looking at me like I was a fucking alien!" The Jenny in front of you isn’t even trying to be girly (not that Jenny would try anyway). It’s full-on Keith in another body, like some goofy bodyswap movie.
"Because you weren’t acting like Jenny, you were acting like some kind of zombie!"
"Because I had fucking Seth Javits squeezing up next to my thigh! You should have told them to get fucked, dude! This is as much your fault as it is mine! Fuck!"
"OK, knuckleheads!" Caleb says. "Stop yabbering and we can try and figure out what the hell we’re going to do."
It’s a full hour since you left Keith in the jaws of Cindy and Seth. At first, you had no idea what to do – you were ‘Jenny’s’ ride, after all, but after kicking around the parking lot for what felt like an eternity, you managed to swoop in and pick ‘her’ up before the real Jenny Ashton happened to walk by. You thought it was an exercise in damage control.
You had not figured on Keith being an idiot. (Which, frankly, you concede, is probably on you). The truth came stumbling out as soon as you were back in your hideout. It turns out Keith hadn’t been able to resist poking Seth Javits a little while he thought he could get away with it. Years of abuse had amounted to an ‘epic’ slew of sleights and subtle insults as Keith had waged secret war. And it hadn’t taken long for Cindy to haul him into the girl’s bathroom.
"I just thought, like, you know how they all go to the bathroom at the same time? You know that’s a thing? I thought it was that!" he had blabbered. "Like, holy shit girl’s bathrooms are a mess. Anyway, it wasn’t that. Cindy fucking rounded on me, dude. She was all ‘what’s your problem, Jenny? Is it with me, or Seth, or me being with Seth’? So I told her that Seth was an assmuncher, and she should get a better standard of boyfriend."
And started a beef between an oblivious Jenny Ashton and a very irate Cindy. Great job, Keith. Full fucking marks.
And that’s only problem one. Problem two is…
"Where the hell did you get Renee from, anyway?" you say. "It's the dumbest fucking name."
That’s right: the fake cousin that doesn’t exist is another issue you're going to have to fix.
"Fuck, dude! I was thinking on the fly, OK? And Renee Corrido came into my head."
Of course it did. Renee Corrido, as far as Keith’s concerned the hottest woman on the planet, who landed the role of the leather-clad villain Mistress Darke in The Challengers movies, and makes up for her lack of acting ability with a perfect hourglass figure and ample bosom.
"Name a time when Renee Corrido doesn’t come into your head," Caleb says, pinching his nose.
"Guilty as charged," Jenny grins sloppily, gently massaging her breasts. "Fuck, it’s a name, OK? Who gives a shit what your fictional cousin is called."
"Because I’m going to have to remember that, idiot!" you say. "And what if Cindy tells someone else. Or they ask someone who knows I don’t have a cousin Renee. Not to mention it doesn't exactly sit neatly with my family."
"Dude, you've got a Japanese cousin. And, well… fuck, we cross that when we come to it! Like, we can use that other mask we made and presto! Chango! Instant fake Renee."
"You mean that mask of Stephanie that you ruined by sticking your ugly-ass face into?" you retort. "In the first place, that face doesn't look like anybody in my family, and in the second place, it's the face of a guy, not a girl!"
"Enough!" Caleb says. "Jesus, I knew it was a bad idea letting you two out. You can’t fucking control yourself, Tilley. And you, Prescott, you were supposed to be babysitting! How the hell did you let this shit boil over?"
"Me? Like I can control this idiot!"
"I’m not a fucking idiot!"
"Shut up!" Caleb snaps, again. "Just… we got to think this through. We’ve got to undo this. All of it. And that’s the last time you play little-miss-dress-up without working on a plan, and an exit strategy, beforehand. Got it?"
Keith, sullenly, gives a nod. You nod too.
"OK," you say. "So how do we unpick all of this mess?"
"Well, while you too were ruining Jenny Ashton’s life, I finished work on that mask. So we have that spare, now."
"Well, maybe we can use that to solve our problem," you offer. "Make one of Cindy."
"That helps… how?"
"Think about it!" Jenny’s face brightens up as Keith catches on to your idea. "As Jenny, we apologize to Cindy. As Cindy, we apologize to Jenny or stop any backlash. We diffuse this whole time bomb before it blows up in our face."
"Or, hear me out here," Caleb says, "maybe we just chalk this one up to experience and stay the fuck out of it. Jenny’s big enough to handle some high school drama, and in a week all of this will blow over. She’ll be confused as hell, probably pester Will about it, but it’ll pass. Eventually."
You’re not so sure. But, before you can even think about it, there’s a buzz from your phone. You close your eyes and groan.
Hi Will. Trust me u do not wnt Jenny helping w ur cousin. I will msg Lucy. W8 for her to give u a call.
You show it to the others. "Great, now I’ve got Cindy’s sister wanting to meet my fake cousin," you sigh.
"How does Cindy know your phone number?" Caleb asks.
But he's overridden by Keith. "Hey!" He grins. "See, that’s much better! Lucy V is some fine, fine ass…" Jenny Ashton puckers her lips, and offers a French kiss.
"Actually," Caleb says, "hers might be a much safer face to, uh, borrow, if we’re looking to do that. College girls can get away with anything."
"Or maybe we should work on the next spell. Maybe there’s an answer in there that will help us unravel this mess before it blows up in our faces."
The two look at you. "It’s your call, man," Keith says. "I still think it’s safer to handle it at school. We never said when this ‘Renee’ was appearing, did we? And if you need someone to be your cousin, we could use this new mask to make one."
"And, thanks to Tilley here," Caleb snorts, "it's your ass Jenny Ashton is going to be coming after when Cindy starts spreading ‘fake’ rumors about her."   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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