"Doctor! We have a critical situation!"
You snap to attention. You are a doctor at a pokemon center, treating the most deadly non-combat-related conditions a pokemon can have: Extactory issues.
For the most part, pokemon are healthy, with heart failure, cancer, and such almost non existent. But the bowels and bladder is the one area most afflicted by diseases and syndromes, even more that humans. There were lots of centers around the world treating only these types of cases. And yours was one of the best, having patients be transported great distances to be treated.
The patient you are dealing with now is one such patient.
"Whats happening?"
"The charmander in F-23 has been constipated for 18 hours and his body is now rejecting food."
"Another C. Heti infection from the tainted food?"
"Results from the tests showed positive."
"His state?"
"Stable for now, but the lack of food has made his colon tissue weak, and he is at risk of organ failure if we can't get him eating again."
"Possibility of an IV?
"Too late, external hemorrhaging could take what little nutrients he has from his body."
"Hmm... looks like the only way to do this is to get it out. Get some surgical tools and 3 pints of charmander 0 positive blood."
"On it."
10 Minutes later you were in his room. The charmannder was groaning in pain, and his abdomen was noticeably swollen. He looks up at you with eyed red from crying.
"Char...mander?
"Yes, buddy. It'll be ok"
"Char..."
You start the operation
"I need 5cc of Novocaine"
A nurse hands you a small syringe. You turn the charmander over, lift his tail, and carefully inject his tailhole muscle with the Novocaine. It tenses up from the sharp point of the needle, but the Novocaine soon takes affect and the entire pucker is numb and relaxed.
"Forceps"
A nurse hands you a pair of forceps, which you insert into the charamander's tailhole and open. The hole is expanded to a point that would be painful without the Novocaine.
"6cc of glytheran"
A nurse hands you a syringe filled with a slick gel and you insert it carefully into the blockage, being sure not to piece any of the soft tissue. Internal hemorrhaging is the last thing you need. After this, you wait. It is the only thing you can do. You can't pull it out without risking damaging the fragile tissue, and any procedures involving cutting would almost guarantee the patient's death. Now all you can do is let the charmannder pass it himself.
After a few minutes of waiting, you decide its time to proceed.
"Ok, buddy, its time for you to work. We need that thing outta there."
He nods his head, then closes his eyes and starts grunting. He pushes hard for a few seconds, then abruptly stops. You notice a yellow puddle growing on the table where he is laying belly down. He looks at you sheepishly.
"Charmander... Char."
"Don't worry, that happens all the time. Keep trying, and don't stop unless we tell you to."
"Char"
He closes his eyes and starts again, closing his eyes and lifting his tail high. At first it looks as if nothing is happening. Then a rancid fart escapes into the air, stinking up the whole room. You don't mind it, as you cannot do this job without getting your hands dirty. Another fart , and slowly the head of the turd starts appearing.
"Keep going buddy! I see it!"
The turd starts coming out faster, getting noticeably easier to pass with each second. Finally,it tapers of to a end, and with a final room-stinking fart, the turd breaks loose.
"Charmander?"He asks you.
"Yeah, buddy, its all over. Now the only thing left is to get you cleaned up"
He looks up at his feces-covered butt and lower tail, and at the puddle he was laying in, and grins sheepishly back at you.
"Charmander..."
"I've seen worse. One time we had a snorelax in here..."
He laughs, imagining.
"Now lets get you cleaned up."
You pick him up in your arms, and start carrying him towads the bathroom for a bath, when...
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