You hesitate. This diary contains Megan's most personal and private thoughts. Do you really have a right to read it?
But then you think: Why not?
Its not like you are a complete stranger, breaking into her room and stealing her diary. Its not even like you someone who just comes into her room periodically, like the way you were when she was alive. For the past few days you have lived in this room, essentially making it your own. This room is as much yours as it is hers. So it is different. You are entitled to read that diary as much as she was.
Still, you know that diary contains her thoughts and emotions, her hopes and dreams. Reading it could be depressing since she is no longer here. But your curiosity wins out, and you decide to read it.
This particular diary starts sometime last year and ends on the day of the car crash. As you read through it, day by day, its exactly as you suspected. Its a commentary on the last year of her life. She goes through each day in the diary. She often mentions her desires to be a model and photographer, and also mentions her love for you.
As far as the information goes there is nothing shocking. There are no major revelations or secrets of her life. Everything in the diary are things that she has told her friends, family or you before.
No, what was surprising was the way it made you feel afterwards. You were worried that reading the diary would make you really depressed that she was no longer there.
But you didn't feel depressed. Far from it, in fact. Reading that diary allowed you to get a firsthand look at Megan's thoughts and emotions during that timeframe. You were able to get a sense of how she felt and what she thought during those days. It was almost like you were able to absorb all that information into your own being, and you were able to make those thoughts and feelings your own. In a sense this was not just her diary, it was not also yours. This gave you a warm feeling almost like being on a cloud.
So many things have happened over the past couple of days that have fundamentally changed who you are as a person. You feel you need to sit down and think about all of this.
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