I smiled to myself and attempted to contain a cavalcade of giggles. I couldn’t believe it. I’d really convinced my son to believe that he’d been a giant for years. I could only imagine what kinds of thoughts were zipping around in his mind. Perhaps he believed he’d stumbled into an alternate universe, or angered a Norse god, or just simply had the world’s most convincing dream. Whatever the case, I could see the wheels spinning behind those eyes of his every time he glanced back at me from the couch. He was so confused. I almost felt bad.
Almost.
I heard the creaking of the couch and realized that Matt must’ve been moving. I looked up and watched him as he attempted to stand up. He was shaky on his feet and unsure of his stature, but he managed. He remained slightly hunched over to ensure that his head didn’t have another unexpected reunion with the ceiling. I smiled and went back to mixing the large bowl of pancake batter. I threw in a bit of cinnamon—just like Matt liked it—and nutmeg—just like Tina liked it. It’d probably take me a while to cook the amount of flapjacks it would take fo fill my son up, but for a prank like this, it was so worth it.
“Hey, mom?”
“Yes, hon.”
“You said I’ve been a giant for a while, right?”
“Yes, honey.”
“Since high school?”
“Yeees.” I sounded so exasperated. I deserved an Oscar for this performance.
“So, how do you explain this?” I looked up at Matt standing in front of the sofa. He was holding up a picture of me, Tina, and him at his high school graduation.
Busted.
At first I smiled, then giggled, then full on laughed at the predicament. Tears came to my eyes as I cackled inconsolably for what felt like minutes. Matt, however, didn’t share in my humor.
“Mom, how is this funny?”
More laughter.
“I’m serious!”
I let out a couple more chuckles before I sobered up. It’d be best if I just let him in on the whole thing before he lost his mind. “It’s a prank, hon,” I said with a smile that still contained the glimmers of lingering hilarity.
“A what?”
“A pr—”
Matt held up one of his giant hands to stop me. “No, I heard...” his hand slipped to his face, running upward and then raking through his hair. He was not processing this well. And it was hilarious. “How, mom? How is this a prank? How did you even do...” he gestured at his nine-foot-tall body. “...this?”
I sighed, still smiling, and placed my hands on the counter. “I have a magic remote.”
Matt blinked. He wasn’t getting it. “A magic remote? Mom are you serious?”
“Yes!” I insisted. “I used a magic remote to make you grow while you were sleeping.”
“Oh, come on, mom.”
“I’m serious!”
“You can’t really expect me to believe that you have a magic remote that made me—”
With ease and speed, I whipped the device out of my pocket, aimed at my son, and hit the “G” button. Within milliseconds he was growing again, his crouched form inching toward the ceiling once more.
Matt noticed. He looked up, down, at me, at himself, and back to me. “Okay!” He exclaimed. I didn’t stop. “Okay, I believe you!” I kept my finger on the button, making him grow even more. If I was gonna do this, I was gonna do it big. Matt had gained another foot and he was now already closing in on 12-feet-tall. “I said I believe you!” He grew until his back hit the ceiling. “Mom!”
I smiled. Satisfied, I took my finger off of the button. Matt’s growth stopped, but he kept his eyes trained on the remote, shocked expression in full-force. He then looked down at himself and the new size that he’d just gained. Based on how uncomfortable he appeared to be, I guessed that he was probably somewhere around 15-16 feet. His eyes traversed over his own body as though it were a foreign object. “Mom... I’m huge! I-I mean... I was big before, but... this is crazy!” He looked up at me. “How did you get that?”
I waved him off, more interested in playing with the remote than explaining how I came into possession of it. “TV, alcohol, long night, long story. Most important thing, it works.”
“Huh,” Matt laughed as he looked back down at himself. “No kidding.” Terror suddenly filled his eyes as he looked back at me. “Wait, you can shrink me back to normal, right?”
I pretended like I hadn’t thought of that. “Shrink you? What do you mean?”
Matt blanched, going white as a ghost. I laughed. “Relax, hon. There’s a shrink function, too.” Matt sighed in relief, falling back on his bottom, no doubt exhausted from all the emotional manipulation I’d put him through. I braced myself, the vibrations from his most recent movement were much stronger now that he was so much bigger.
“So, you can shrink me, right?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, I was thinking about seeing just how big you could go with this thing.”
“What?” Matt sounded unsure, but he didn’t sound afraid.
I held my hands up in mock surrender. Perhaps I’d put him through enough already. “Or not. We don’t even have to use it if you don’t want to.”
I looked up to see if I could tell what he was thinking. There almost seemed to be a look like... almost like curiosity on his face. “Actually...,” Matt spoke in a voice much smaller than his size would have implied. “I kind of wonder what it would be like...”
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