“All ass, no class.”
That was the quote of the day for the bookstore Lisa managed. It was to everyone’s astonishment that she had come in with an ass the size of the cab seat of a ford F-150, and it was to their further astonishment that she had played it off as it was no big deal and she couldn’t even remember how it had happened, but it was to their disbelief at how much her behavior changed because of the size of her new ass.
She had come in smiling, wearing a nice blouse with an attractive scarf on, normal Lisa for everyone to see. But she was also wearing the tightest pair of black, stretch ponte leggings and a pair of 4-inch, cheetah print, pointed toe heels. She was secretly delighted at how everyone stared at her, gasping at how big and in your face her new sun eclipsing badonkadonk was, made to look all the bigger by her pants and heels. “Oh my God,” one of her coworkers, John, said, dropping his glass of water onto the carpet of the bookstore.
“What?” Lisa asked innocently.
“Lisa, what happened to your butt?” her assistant manager Gertrude asked in shock.
“What?” she asked again. “Oh you mean how it’s so big now? I don’t know what happened, all I know is my badonkadonk has a lot more donk than it used to!” And that was it, that was all Lisa would comment about the new wagon she was draggin’. She immediately shooed everyone back to work and went about her day, with a new appreciation for her butt pillows.
She happily tried squeezing down the tighter aisles, knocking the books from the shelves with her pound-packing posterior. She merrily bent over to pick the books up the first time, knocking the bookcase behind her over as nothing could resist the power of her prodigious backside. And she cheerily ordered everyone else to clean up after her when her plantation-sized ass prevented her from cleaning up.
Later she saw Gretchen and one of the shelf stockers, Brad, standing at the coffee machine talking. Cheerfully Lisa squeezed between the two, nudging Brad out of the way with her gigantic ass. She filled her cup and put it on the counter to add sugar, and intentionally dropped one to the ground. She bent over, and as she did so she pushed her ass into Brad, pinning him to the wall between her mighty cheeks. For the next 40 years of his life Brad would masturbate to this moment in his privates ones at even the slightest provocation of memory, while outwardly projecting an attitude of outrage and disgust to anyone who would remotely listen. Lisa would stop squashing him after a few feigned moments of ignorance, never to think of it again, except when in times that she needed a good laugh.
Lisa looked for any open drawer or cabinet to close with her gargantuan hips. The first time she swung her hip out and up as far as she could before letting gravity add its force to her own as she swung it the other way and hit the drawer of the register closed. It hit hard enough to lift the register off the counter to let it drop back down with a thud that suggested something internally was broken. She happily opened the other register feeling it was worth it.
Lisa locked up that night and giddily said good night to her staff, all whose grumbles she mistook for some sort of compliment of her monstrously large ass. Lisa knew having an ass the size that she did would lead to an interesting life for herself, she just never realized how “interesting” she would make it for everyone else.
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