"You have come to destroy the witch that has seduced the King."
"Ah. Sure. Suffer not the heretic to live, and all that. Why don't you fill me in on the details while we walk to this "witch"."
The Knight nods, rising and leading you deeper into the villa. There is blood on the walls, and men drag out the bodies of the dead, blood still oozing weakly from a few of them.
"As you know, the Knights of Santiago were funded by King Phillipe to assist in his retaking of the Holy Land. We met with him and his retinue en route. Among his entourage was a young woman of common birth. I did not like her from the first moment I laid eyes on her. Her ways are most unnatural. She behaves like... like...a foreigner! She drinks and carouses and resides amongst the men, and in battle she picks up a sword and attempts to fight alongside us. Twice I have been forced to abandon my post to drag her away from the fighting, yet when I try to scold her she curses me in a most foul and unladylike fashion." His gauntleted fist clenches. "Were she not under the King's protection I would have her in the stocks or a scold's bridle, or across my knee!"
So one of your parents had evidently landed in the body a young frenchwoman and fancied herself a Joan of Arc character. "Her curious ways aside, you have to respect her passion for crusading though, right? Maybe she's just a bit overzealous."
The Knight's eyebrows raise at the suggestion that there could be such a thing as overzealous. "That is not all, Father. There is evil magic at work. Three days ago we were visited by a sinister double. Perhaps it would be easier if I showed you... Remember that my sword is yours if you need it."
As he walks through the villa, he gathers men to his side. You arrive at a central courtyard. Seated on the side of the pool there is a gaudily dressed man clutching a handkerchief to his mouth as if to keep out the pervasive smell of blood. He has a crown on his head and a bejeweled sword by his side, though it looks unused. The corpse of one of the enemy soldier has been propped against a tree, feathered arrows bristling from his foreign clothes. Two women are quarreling over a short-bow and quiver. They are petite and slim, with short dark hair and pale skin that looks to have sunburnt badly in the greek sun. Curiously enough they are identical.
"Give it here. You can't shoot for toffee."
"What? I shoot as well as you do!"
"You shoot like a girl!"
"You are a girl!"
"Takes one to know one!"
The king by the pool sees you, breaking into a smile and giving an exclamation of relief. "You made it! Oh, thank goodness. Your fathers have been driving me round the bend!"
"Uh. Mum. Not in front of the Captain," you mutter, as the King grabs you in affectionate embrace, his beard scratching against your face.
"Oh, whoops. I sometimes forget who I am," mum blushes. "It's been so long since we saw you last. You never come to visit us," he says chidingly.
"Too embarrassed to see his old man in tights, I bet," one of the twins chuckles, breaking off their fight and stepping up behind the king.
"At least we're not the ones wearing the dress!" the other twin laughs, gesturing to your elaborate robes.
You look between them both. Something is very wrong here. "Which one of you is my dad?"
"We both are!" they say in unison. "We've been duplicated!"
"We think there's been a glitch, dear," mum says. "We called as soon as it happened. We're worried your father's data might have been corrupted."
"'Corruption'?!" Captain Alvar Di Castro hisses between his teeth. There is the sound of sliding steel and you hurriedly usher him and his men away with assurances that you have the situation under control.
"This isn't supposed to happen, ever," you say matter-of-factly. "What exactly did you do to cause this?"
"Nothing!" dad-A protests. "Me and your mother were just lying in bed after a hard day's crusading when *pop*, another me just appears out of thin air."
"You've not been downloading any viruses on to the system, have you?" dad-B inquires suspiciously.
"I bet he's been installing all sorts of dodgy sims while we were away," dad-A nods.
"He has, look, he's turning red!" dad-B guffaws. "Ugh. Let's hope we never land in one!"
"This is what I've had to put up with for three days," mum sighs. "Can you fix him?"
Hmm...
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