The following morning, the Shepherds arrived at Ylisstol, the defeated bandits went through into jail where they would remain until the young Exalt decided on a fair sentence for their crimes, in the meantime, the Shepherds scattered around the capital to relax, except for their leader and his closest retainers, who went back to the royal palace, so Chrom might resume his royal duties.
"What a day..." A sigh escaped the Exalt's lips as he made his way to the royal chambers.
"Aww, is my Chromsy Womsy tired?" Sumia said as she embraced her husband, rubbing her head against his shoulder, "Why don't we go somewhere more private, I'm dying to give my Chromy bear a nice shoulder massage!"
"Hehehe..." Chrom let out an awkward forced laugh as he slightly pushed his wife away. "That won't be necessary, darling, I'm just a bit worn out after fighting so many bandits"
He couldn't quite understand why, but half of the Shepherds didn't seem to have broken a sweat after yesterday's battle, not to mention some had started to act strange, Sumia amongst them, who seemed to be much more... friendly?
"I'm surprised you aren't tired after so much flying around and battling," he said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Shouldn't you be the one asking for a massage? I'm not good at those, can't control my own strength there, but maybe Frederick can give you a hand."
Chrom could swear he saw a grimace on Sumia's face for a brief moment before she forcefully shoved his hand away. "That won't be necessary, darling," the last word sounded almost venomous, "I just want us to spend some time alone together; we could have died yesterday, you know? What would have happened to the brat if you died?"
"Brat?" Chrom arched an eyebrow, had she just called their baby daughter a brat? Clumsy, innocent, kind Sumia? The stress was probably getting to her head.
"I mean, our little bundle of joy, little... little..." A silence followed the word, one that seemed to last for a minute. "Lucia!"
"Lucina" He corrected her.
"Yeah, that one, what kind of man would orphan such a ransomable little baby?"
"Ransomable? Sumia, are you feeling well?" Chrom said as he placed the back of his hand against his wife's forehead.
"Uhh... no, I'm very sick" The admission was followed by a series of coughs. "So sick, a sickness only a husband can carry, by spending time alone with his wife!"
"Your Highness," A deep voice echoed through the hall, putting an end to the conversation; turning their head, the Exalt and his wife saw a familiar imposing figure, clad in armor, standing in a dignified pose, Frederick. "I am here so we might resume your etiquette lessons"
"Etiquette lessons?" Chrom repeated; he was lost for a moment until he noticed his retainer was not looking at him but at Sumia. "Oh, right, you're trying to teach Sumia how to be a proper lady; I kept forgetting about that," He said, scratching the back of his head. "You do know that unnecessary, right Frederick?"
"Nonsense, Sumia is your wife; as such, she is to play an important role in the administration of the Halidom, even if it's just ceremonial," The knight replied, now turning to the Exalt. "Speaking of which, have you been rehearsing for the summer festival, your Highness?"
"Oh, I knew I was forgetting something!" Chrom yelled as she smashed his palm against his forehead. "I'm sorry Frederick, the bandit problem kept me distracted"
"I understand, your Highness, but you might delegate bandit hunts to me or Robin, but the ceremonial duties of the Exalt are reserved only to you for obvious reasons," Frederick said, looking at the mark on his liege's arm.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, old habits die hard, I suppose." The next Exalt sighed, yearning for the days when Emmeryn was around, and he could solely focus on dealing with bandits and the risen. "I'll go re-read Emm's note on the festival, would that please you, old friend?"
"That would indeed please me" The knight nodded, now turning his attention back to Sumia. "In the meantime, we shall resume your etiquette lessons, your Highness"
"Fuck..." The bandit said through gritted teeth as he saw Chrom walking away, his plan to swap bodies with that foolish Exalt would have to wait.
---
Frederick walked back and forth in front of Sumia, with his hand behind his back and an upright posture, with the clacking of his armor following each step. "Can you see what I mean now, Sumia? Why don't you give it a try"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm going..." Gazzak sighed, it had been about an hour since this tin man kidnapped him and forced him to walk how he walked like someone he would kidnap.
He did his best to walk like one of the uptight nobles he was so used to robbing, but he seemed to have missed something again.
"No, no, no!" Frederick yelled, his voice booming through the empty main hall. "Your posture is simply wrong; your shoulders are sloped, and you walk as if you were carrying a chicken!"
"What's that supposed to mean!?" The bandit chief had stolen enough chicken in a lifetime to know that was not how a chicken stealer would walk! A chicken stealer would run in a zig-zag to avoid the guard's arrows; he wouldn't even think about walking!
"It means that you don't walk like the lady you are now, Sumia!" The knight replied, the complexities of chicken stealing being completely lost to him. Frederick grabbed a nearby book and placed it on top of 'Sumia's' head. "How do you feel now, Sumia?"
"I feel like a farmer with a cooking pot on my head," Gazzak replied, smirking a bit as he reminded me how many farmers thought that would protect them from his axe but it never worked.
"Uh, you do resemble Donnell when it comes to etiquette, but I hope that when we are done today, you'll be at least as elegant as Robin"
"Is that a high bar?" He couldn't remember which one was supposed to be Robin... was that the squishy mage boy or the bunny girl?
"No, I've decided to set my expectations to something more realistic" Frederick sighed, knowing many useless hours would slip away today. "Now, hold on to that book and try to walk to that end of the room, keeping the book straight," He said, pointing to the other side of the room.
"Gotcha," The bandit said as he attempted to do the task; the sooner he did as the tin man said, the sooner he'd get his hands on that Exalt's body; only imagining what he'd do with all that power made him smile... and lose his balance.
THUD
"Start again!" Frederick ordered; Gazzak sighed and, for once in his life, did as a night ordered him to do, again and again since it seemed like he couldn't do more than five steps before the book fell off his head.
The constant failure made Frederick sigh. "It feels like we aren't making any advances..." He said, rubbing his forehead; he could only think of one reason why they kept failing besides Sumia's natural clumsiness; maybe they needed an expert in female etiquette. "We may need professional help here"
"Professional help?" Gazzak arched a brow. "Does that mean we have to keep doing this!? We've been doing the exact same walking back and forth for two hours!"
"And we will continue for as long as we have to, and once we are done must start with table manners–"
"Table manners? That's easy, you just grab the grub with your hands and shove it in your mouth!"
"I'm afraid you only ride a pegasus, Sumia. You're not one, so you are expected to eat with fork and knife," Frederick sighed once more, starting to hope this was no hopeless task. "After that, you must learn how to receive and entertain guests, and after that ballroom etiquette, and after that–"
"Gah! When will he stop talking!?" Gazzak thought as the knight kept listing all the boring stuff they would have to do before he could get a chance to get to be alone with the Exalt, he wondered if he should try and do something about the knight now, or wait and see who this "profession help" was supposed to be, probably one of his boys, considering what they had done yesterday.
After thinking about it for a moment, Gazzak decided to...
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