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Review #4071027
Viewing a review of:
 The Gift of Revenge  [18+]
"Druid, listen very carefully before I slit out your tongue." - This item has chapters!
by EllisRosser
         Review for entry/chapter: "Chapter 2
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Ellis,

I'm going to send a few individual thoughts for each chapter, and then I'll send an overall review for the item as a whole as soon as I'm done with the individual components. *Smile*

For me, this chapter ends at a really abrupt point. I like the fact that you're trying to end your chapters on a note that leaves the reader wanting more, but in this particular case, it just feels like an odd place to stop, since there's really nothing sinister or surprising about dialogue where a host asks his guests (sincerely or not) whether they've had safe travels. I would try to find a more dynamic place to end this particular chapter.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 12/25/2014 @ 10:40am EST
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