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Review #4102173
Viewing a review of:
 I Know A Girl Open in new Window. [13+]
A girl talks about knowing a girl...curious?
by Nicole Lundrigan Author Icon
Review of I Know A Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by Charlie ~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello Nicole Lundrigan Author Icon. My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you have any questions or need help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Sun* *Peace2*


*Tulipr**Poseyr*General Impressions*Poseyr**Tulipr*
I thought this was an interesting topic for a poem. I think a lot of people can relate to the idea of not really being able to show who they truly are to others. There are a lot of factors that play into this like low self-esteem and shyness. Some people have anxiety issues and this causes them to hide even further because they don't know what people will think if they show their true self.

*Tulipb**Poseyb*What Worked*Poseyb**Tulipb*
Some parts worked really well and I felt like you hit a groove near the middle of the poem. I like the repetition of "I know a girl" at the beginning of each line reflecting back to the title of the poem itself. My favorite lines were:

She has thoughts she tries to hide,
That are pushing her to fall.
And I'm terrified to realise that,
I have understood them all.

This seemed to be the strongest point in the poem. It really peaked here for me.

*Tulipp**Poseyp*Suggestions*Poseyp**Tulipp*
Some parts felt a little bit awkward. They just didn't read as smoothly as others. The last stanza threw me off a little bit because the rhyming pattern became near rhymes soul/all, killer/mirror, whereas the rest of the poem was exac rhymes.

For how can I see her light,
When she hides from me to see?

This read quite strangely to me. Even though I knew what you meant, it definitely made me do a double take because 'she hides from me to see' is worded a bit off.

But I've haven't told a soul

This one is just a typo. Easy fix! *Smile*

*Tulipv**Poseyv*Summary*Poseyv**Tulipv*
I think you did a good job with this. It had a lot of emotion and heart in it, which always makes for a good read. There are spots where the wording and flow could be tighter, but I enjoyed this for the most part. Thanks again for sharing!


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