Hello Apologizing Adolescent !

I'm offering this review because you're a new member. Please remember that everybody has different tastes. This critique is the opinion of only one person and offered in the spirit of constructive criticism with a hope that it will prove useful if you decide to further develop or edit your poem.

What I liked.

This is a cute declaration of a person's love for their spouse. A little idealistic in tone, 'tis true, but lovely all the same. Great, consistent rhyming scheme. I particularly like the simile about the couple being 'puzzle pieces, a perfect fit'.

What I feel may need improvement.

There are a few, minor punctuation issues. For example:

“Oh cupid, oh cupid, oh cupid” - Cupid is a name and so should be capitalized, and the period is missing from the end of this spoken sentence. Throughout the poem, you have some sentences ending with periods and others simply blank. Either use them or don't use them, but if you're going to use speech marks then I recommend you use them or the speech marks will look weird, imho.

“What is it my dear, what is wrong?” - when a person is addressed in speech, their name or title must be separated from what's said to them by a comma, so: "What is it, my dear? What is wrong?"

I sang my melody and sang it my best - here, for this line and the line beginning 'She swayed' only, you change from present tense to past, which sounds a bit weird in context.

How can I be so blessed - missing question mark.

Conclusion.

This is a sweet poem only marred by a few, tiny punctuation issues.

Thank you for sharing your poem with me. Since you're a new member of this community, please check out "Newbies ONLY Short Story & Poem Contest" We want to award the best new authors on this site, so please enter either a poem or a short story. Read the rules before posting an entry.

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Newbies ONLY Short Story & Poem Contest  (13+) Opening in January for entries! #1873271 by ~ Santa Sisco ~

Best wishes,

Bob




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .