This is an "Invalid Item"  review    

Very very short! If I were smart, I'd probably just combine this review with my review of the next chapter, which I see is also very very short. But I don't want to muck up the way the reviews appear in the item. So, we'll just have these two very short reviews.

Oh, now this picture is awesome! Don't you wish you could have the “before” picture of this for the “evening news” chapter? Darn the luck!


“What d’you mean, nothing?”
         Immediate title shot! Punchy and fitting for the chapter.

hands to her hips, counting to ten not to lose it with Ron
         hands on her hips
         counting to ten to keep from losing it with Ron
         Or maybe: counting to ten to avoid losing it with Ron
         Or maybe: counting to ten before she lost it with Ron
         Or even: counting to ten so she wouldn't lose it with Ron
         Well, you get the idea. And hey, Reg, at least he didn't call you ma'am.

“And no-one said a single word
         It's been too long, but I think we've talked about this before. I just can't remember the conclusion. “no one” needs no hyphen, and common usage is not to have one. But I know I've seen it used with a hyphen, so I don't believe it's wrong. So what's the conclusion—do I point out these instances or not?

said or did anything that would point they did it.
         Wording thing: point to them having done it.
         Or maybe: point to them doing it.

“Ron, Al, is there any way to cause a gas leak and use it to blow up a house at a given moment?”
         Ding, ding, ding! This was my thought while reading along. {e:nods encouragingly}

T, you’re gonna track any purchase of them with credit cards.
         This wording sounds like T is going to use credit cards as a tool (rather than a computer/searches) to track those purchases. I think this wording clears that up: gonna track credit card purchases of them.


I know! It's a lot of technical stuff in this micro-review! But you know, not much happens in this chapter, though its super heavy on implications, with one big possible revelation to drive it home. I bow down once more to the queen of super short chapters, I tip my hat, and I move to the next.

Chy

          ** Image ID #2054780 Unavailable **


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .