Hello, Prosperous Snow celebrating How are you doing today? I'm working on reviewing different genres for "Invalid Item"  and stumbled upon your item, "Twelve Miles from the Fire" . I hope this review finds you well! Thanks for sharing your writing with us.

General Thoughts: This was an interesting story intertwining animals and nature into a fantasy theme. I thought the pacing of the story was good. I could understand each of the characters' perspectives and why Lydia was so unsure about staying at the cabin given the direction of the fire.

It seemed like there was a bigger story behind this story where there was some legend about the animals that protect the house or maybe Roy controls nature and the animals with his staff. It seems like he was a wizard or something like that.

Suggestions: I would have liked to hear a little bit more about the myth that Lydia and Nora spoke about. It doesn't have to be the full story, but maybe just a couple sentences explaining the gist of the myth.

Other than that, there were some grammatical errors or typos in the story. I've included some examples below:

Examples ▼

“Lydia,” Nora took her hand and lead her back to the table, “calm down. As long as the nightingale sings, we’re safe..." Here, I would put a period after 'table' and start a new sentence with 'calm'.

On our wedding day, Roy told me a lot of myths this area... There's a word missing after 'myths'. I think maybe 'about this area' is what it's meant to say.

...toward Pine Junction rather then Nightingale Clearing. 'then' should be 'than'

Conclusion: Overall, I enjoyed this fantasy story about maybe a wizard controlling the nature and animals in his environment using a staff. I especially enjoyed the element of Lydia and Brock having to choose whether to have faith in their spouses on the direction of the fire or reacting to what they could currently see. Thanks again for sharing your story with us!


Best wishes,

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .