HI Mastiff! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

Wow! Your title was direct and grabbed my attention. The word shouted out into empty space and seemed in my mind to echo the shot! LOL

This is an effective flash piece as you drew me in quickly to the setting and action. The character had a interesting name though, at first I had to read it again as I thought it odd to not say the stump, until I saw the verb. LOL

The last part of line two was awkward to read: "for deer, for weeks" I wonder if it would be more effective to have the time line at the start of the line.

The shock of a shot from nowhere was a good sudden action. I think a period after "backwards" would give pause and potency to the next line. Both lines are complete in themselves anyway.

The line beginning "on his back" is not a complete sentence and threw me out of the read a bit. Maybe something like, "On his back, bleeding, he stared..."

I can imagine his thoughts as he lay there..and maybe knowing he would never know. I would put his exact inner thoughts in italics for clarity. I like how he is confused about sirens or wind. The last line was a surprise. Good one.

I felt bad for the guy and am left also curious as to the reason for the shot. At first I thought his gun went off and he fell from the spot. Yet his later thoughts made me wonder. Cool!

It is a challenge to write full episodes in so few words. I appreciate your creation.

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar