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Given: Jul 24, 2022 at 3:50pm
Length: 1,110 Characters |
1,095 w/o WritingML
I think you raise some really interesting questions in this article. Questions of how "well off" we are in our own society versus by comparison to others, if the reader can envision a future without having to work, if rich people are really rich if no one works for them... these are all intriguing questions that are worth exploring, but they all felt a little mashed together in a piece that's unclear about what it's asking of the reader. Is the piece arguing for the reader to see a certain point of view? To actually answer these specific questions? If it's the latter, what's the purpose of the very specific and varied series of questions being asked?
Overall, I think an article challenging the reader to examine the "false life" they live is an interesting exercise, but I'd encourage you to structure it a little differently in order to make it a more persuasive piece of writing for your audience. Matching the arguments with the questions and creating a little space for the reader to consider before jumping to the next one might be a more effective way to make your point.
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