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Review #4746763
Viewing a review of:
 ONE DAY IN 5TH PERIOD Open in new Window. [E]
A student in my 8th grade remedial english class wrote his first poem ever.
by Rita Littlemoore Author Icon
Review by Past Member 'lighthouses.37'
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello! I found your poem at random. I'm writing this for: "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. and I enjoyed reading it and I hope you find this feedback useful.

I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge
my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.

~~Image #2315514 Sharing Restricted~~


My impression of this piece: Being a 5th grader that kid was, he did a good poem for a girl he liked. and I think that's cute that way he wrote it. I've never had a boy write a poem like that but I did had crushes while growing up. I could relate to the poem.


Grammar and Spelling: None


What I really liked: This part I liked because he had to get enough courage to go up to a girl, who he liked and let her know how he felt. according to what I was reading, he was struggling with his own emotions about the girl. I'm sure he was really shy but he did it and he told her. I hope years later he remembers what he wrote.

When I got to her desk
She flipped her hair back and said, “Hi”
And then I poured out my feelings


Suggestions: Well, there is two things, you have to make the font at size 4 and center the poem, so people can see it and read it. I like the poem and I hope you get more readers to your port.


Final Thoughts / Side Notes: My thoughts on this is, you have a good poem from the boy, you may have known in school. The poem really made my day, when I read it. What I'm wondering now, what happened to the boy who wrote the poem? I'm glad you posted this poem and it was a good one, I think. I'm sure, the boy had a crush on the girl and I hope they are friends still.

I appreciate reading the poem
Thank you for sharing,
Beacon



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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/27/2024 @ 1:15am EDT
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