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 Review #4753341 |
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| (4.5)| Hello, Elycia! So I've actually read this poem already, but I've been slacking on my reviewing.  I posted something in "Please Review" and figured... okay, I gotta be a good person and review some others' work. And then I saw your poem! I thought, Oh, I've read that one already, let me pick the easy one.  This a nice poem, with smooth flow and rhythm. I enjoyed the loose rhymes you used throughout the piece, mostly being in ABCC format if you're including the end rhymes. I also liked how you did the first stanza slightly differently, using an AABB rhyme scheme. The thing I really love about freeform is that it's up to the author to utilize rhyming and flow in a way that works for them. Strict forms can be challenging and fun which I also love. But freeform just seems to flow so much nicer, I feel like you get to read it in a voice and flow that is unique to the author. Oftentimes with freeform, I find myself having to read the piece multiple times before I fully understand the setup and how it should sound, which leave so many varieties of poetry to choose from. My favorite part of this poem is the second half of the first stanza: They are just nice for my cuddly arms I just can’t resist their charms. This sounds like a child describing their favorite stuffed animal. This is also where you added that second rhyme in the stanza that I was commenting on above,  using an AABB scheme. I typically don't like when the schemes change abruptly in a poem, but you executed it beautifully. I think, perhaps, because you made it the first stanza, it works well.I found hardly any grammatical errors. That's my favorite!  I would suggest adding a comma at the end of this line: They are just nice for my cuddly arms, I would also add a comma after Alas in the following line: Alas, when their end comes far too soon I would also add an apostrophe before cause in this line: 'Cause they will need a similar lover. Just a couple of things about punctuation that I noticed.  I truly think that you should reconsider and evaluate both your talent and potential as being a poet. One of the first things you told me was that you didn't consider yourself knowledgeable about poetry. But really, when it comes to freeform, you can create masterpieces while ignoring syllable counts and strict forms. You have a way with words that is jovial and still sophisticated, and I hope you delve deeper into the feelings that emit these pieces. Thanks for sharing!   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 05/23/2024 @ 3:03am EDT