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 Review #4755976 |
 | Cloud Chatter  [E] Some little known facts about clouds.  |
| (5.0)  My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. THE STORYA low level cloud watching a baseball game finds an unusual cloud hanging low.  WHAT I LIKEDI loved the creativity and imagination used in this flash fiction. Not only that, the character voice is spot on. I smiled the entire time I was reading this.  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the third person limited from Fiona's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUEThere's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue drives the story. DESCRIPTIONSI liked: "Rising on thermals, falling with downdrafts, moving in every direction of the compass, until they find an area with enough moisture content to build their cloud persona again." -- This is precisely what clouds do, and I could picture myself hanging out in the stands of the baseball game, looking up, and trying to figure out the clouds out to see if they would rain. SETTINGTIME: modern day PLACE: baseball game This is something that is clarified for the reader. CHARACTERSFiona Fiona's just hanging out, just trying to stay moist.  MECHANICSI did not spot any spelling/punctation mistakes. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONSThe opening engages the reader and pulls them into the story. The title fits the story. A nice comical read that will put a smile on your face. An Angel Army Review
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You responded to this review 06/08/2024 @ 7:55pm EDT