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 Review #4763783 |
| (4.5)| Greetings! A delightful and amusing story we have here, as experienced by a mysterious lady who uses magic only as a tool to make money at a low budget circus, without taking it seriously. You've painted so many colorful characters: the lady herself, the fat man, the mime, the trapeze girl, all the quirky types we expect to see at a circus. They get along amiably and supportively; I appreciate the friendly camaraderie among them and the passing reference to the creepiness of the mime that everyone kept a cautious eye out for  The grubby, grumpy boy also stands out; we wonder what his story is and why he's the one who takes magic seriously enough to steal something from one who doesn't appreciate it and successfully get it to respond to him. If the tables were turned more as we would expect, the crystal ball would turn on him and refuse to function. Overall this was a lighthearted and thoroughly enjoyable story, and I just have a couple of suggestions for improvement. You could set the word count in a different font at the top, because it almost collided with the dateline of the story as I began reading. Then, I always enjoy having the prompt the author worked with at the bottom... Is there any chance you'd remember what sort of character the contest was asking for? Lastly, I think it would be fun if we had a little more backstory on either the lady (what a beautiful and unusual name you've chosen for her! Much appreciated  ) or the boy. You have 300 extra words to stay within the limit, after all  Oh wait, there were some pesky typos... You misused "it's" several times when "its" is correct. And a word was duplicated somewhere, but now I can't find it. Also, the scene divider should be centered, and you can leave it as the asterisks without the parentheses on either side. Other than that, I loved it! Just the kind of thing I'd write  Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing     My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 07/18/2024 @ 6:13am EDT