Hello, this one is fresh off the press....

The title seems lame and lazy - titles entice the reader - cut the blurb and call it 'night owl'?

Loads of nice phrasing, vivid adjectives and sweet rhymes here - making for a pleasant and rhythmic read. But the narrative is too overloaded with vague concepts for me to grasp any real meaning. And fails to engage me as it should. Just one example, but could apply anywhere-

Fingertips sang, a melody unstopped,
Thought's silent beams, from diverse dreams, then dropped.

Lovely phrasing and rhymes, but what am I to make of it?

For me, this piece needs grounding - with less abstractions and more concrete imagery to get your ideas across and engage the reader. That's the trick I guess...

You're a good writer and a natural rhymester, so I can only encourage you to keep at it - but keep it real!

Best..................Em






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .