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![]() | Let their eyes paint me... ![]() Oliver learns to naviigate the webs of the city. ![]() |
Greetings, sir! I found this a fairly easy story to follow, once I settled myself into the mythical universe. There's an established (human?) religion, and then there's magic, and the creatures thereof. The boy knows both too much and not enough, simultaneously... His befuddled innocence bounces off against the wisdom of the elf girl fellow student who saves him from disaster. The scholastic setting was amusing and relatable; it reminded me of Harry Potter, of which I know nothing except that it's a school of magic ![]() Overall, the theme comes through of someone who's in over their head. I'm wondering if Moll is really Oliver's blood brother and if so, how they ended up in such vastly different spheres. There's potential here for themes akin to the Arcane (League of Legends) storyline... Something else I know nearly nothing of except from the Imagine Dragons song Enemy. I don't quite understand where the "day elf," Fihvyx, comes from. It's obvious by the time we get to the school that she's a spider elf like the others, but how is she also a day elf? Is she the only one at the school? How do all the characters at the school relate? Why is such a thing allowed in a land where it's looked down upon? Who are the beings held back by the dragon? Is the land under the thrall of a dragon pretending to be the light? I noticed the idea of serpents, too. There's a lot you can do with this; it feels like a vignette, a scene from a larger work, but it could also stand by itself, with a little polish as you mentioned. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing ![]() ![]() ![]()
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