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Josephine Purdy ![]() teenage troublemakers get more than they bargained in the town graveyard. ![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() What an intense, visceral story. I love how it moves from reckless teen energy to full terror with sharp sensory detail. Your pacing is mostly solid, and is skillfully done with the flashlight chase and Purdy marker. The folklore backstory grounds the horror well, and this makes Josephine’s reappearance believable. Kyle and Paul’s reactions feel authentic, but it feels like Paul’s retreat is too quick. It might carry more weight if you gave him a moment of hesitation before bolting. The assault scene is disturbing and memorable, and you could consider leaning harder into Josephine’s rot and unnatural strength to amplify the horror. I think the ending undercuts the terror somewhat. Her backstory could be effectively woven into the earlier narrative in some way, leaving the boy to feel unhinged and alone. This might linger with the reader longer than jumping from the terrorized young man to the backstory. I found one small correction: “gripe his arm” should be gripped his arm. Overall, it’s atmospheric, and chilling. Good work! Jayne Doe ![]() ![]() My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" ![]()
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