This week: If I could Talk to the Animals ... Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ  
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| It was a beautiful, sunshiny day in Florida. But oh, what my eyes have seen made it even more memorable. |
I love watching birds outside my lakeside window doing their thing. Ospreys fishing, turtles digging in the grass to park their eggs, Great Blue Herons sneaking up on a frog, and other shore birds and ducks that grace my presence. It's the usual day of activity until just the other day when an assortment of oooohs and aaaaahs appeared before my eyes.
I'm sipping my coffee looking out the window and spot something bigger than the osprey ... Was it? Was it? Yessss, it was an eagle. That huge bird was being chased by little mocking birds and grackles. You see, it's nesting season and smaller birds will gang up on larger ones to protect their young. I wondered why the eagle didn't flip around and grab a quick lunch, but realize an eagle is not a hover craft and can't change its position that quickly when something is nipping at its tail feathers from the rear.
I was just thrilled to see the eagle as I hadn't seen one around for months. Suddenly, I saw two Swallow Tail Kites doing their acrobatics in flight while hotly pursued by those smaller birds. Now I can understand them wanting to keep an eagle away from their nest, but a Swallow Tail Kite just wants to find a juicy snake for lunch. The same way an Osprey just wants to fish and doesn't give rat's behind about the grackle's nest. The osprey does hate an eagle because it will steal a fish right out of its grip. But wait. There's more...
After watching the eagle and kites, I saw a flash of pink feet hustling away right outside my window. Whoa! It's an Egyptian goose chasing the Whistling Ducks out of the perimeter. Moe, we call him Moe because he mows down pesky birds that get near their goslings. They have eight cuties that have been growing so fast all I could think about was coming back in the fall with 10 adult non-native geese taking over the lakeside. They are nasty-aggressive creatures.
Then after some coffee under my belt and the bird displays going on outside my window, I decided to go for a walk. I headed toward the clubhouse and decided to sit on the bench outside the shuffleboard court. The landscaping company parked their truck and trailer where their mowers are taken to and from their jobs. I guess they were finishing up for the day because one brilliant worker decided to push the commercial mower up a ramp into the truck. However, there was an SUV parked fairly close to that trailer which prevented the guy from getting a running start. Instead of waiting for the owner of the car to move it, or pulling the truck forward a bit more to get good traction, he attempted to push with all his might. The mower was hesitant and then turned downright all Maximum Overdrive on him and started rolling back down the ramp pulling him along with it. He thought he could wrestle the machine into submission by grabbing hold and trying to contain its further descent, upon the ramp, whereby the mad machine did a flip right over on its head-side. The engine still running, the guy jumped out of the way just in time from being chewed up in that little acrobatic thing with sharp blades. 
A couple workers saw the commotion and the distress (not of the worker but of the machine.) They worked to flip the mower back on the right side up. Then, when the smoke died down, two of them tried pushing the angry mower into the trailer. At this point, I wished I had popcorn with me.  That almost worked, but not until one hopped in front of the mower and started pulling while two in the back pushed. It could have ended badly ... but finally the mower was in its place. Then the lady came out to move her SUV. 
I decided I had enough excitement for the day and should head back home. But then...what is that I feel on my ankle? I looked down to see a flesh colored gecko staring up at me.  I kicked my leg up in the air and that little nuisance flew, landing on its feet, running down the shuffleboard court.
Back home after all that excitement, I got supper ready. We sat in the Florida room where all the bird-action took place outside the window earlier in the day. Suddenly, a dove flew near the lake and was unceremoniously pick off by a red shouldered hawk.  The hawk put the dove down on the grass near the bank of the lake, and began doing the feather removal. He got ready to enjoy his meal until ...Buh, Buh, BUH!!!! Moe appeared out of nowhere and scared the bleep out of the hawk. He checked out the dove, and proudly went back to his goslings and I suppose warned them not to wander off like the trusting dove or they'll end up a circle of feathers on the ground, too.
And that was the day when animal and human nature went on some weird display of bold, bruised, and bullied behavior right before my eyes.
That's one big goose egg for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. 
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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See you next month, folks, where I will be reporting from my Northern Command Center ...  |
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Comedy: May 07, 2025 Issue [#13099]
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