 Comedy: June 04, 2025 Issue [#13146] |
This week: Why WW Doesn't Do Math! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚Ẃỉtcĥ  
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| It was a test. There were letter choices to color in. The right answer was there somewhere from A-D. I picked a letter and moved on. |
I don't do math!
It all started in my Sophomore in a Catholic high school following a Diocesan National Standardized Test. The specific test that caught a nun's attention has become the bane of my existence. It was the Geometry part of the exam.
I walked into class as usual. Clad in the pleated plaid wool skirt, the white blouse with a Peter Pan collar, a bow tie sort of ribbon around the collar, and a navy blue blazer, saddle shoes and knee socks. My name was called to the nun's desk before I barely got into my seat. I was about to be read the riot act.
That nun was furious with me. She was shaking test results under my nose. I figured it was because I flunked worse than I usually do with math tests. What a shock I received!
Sister Miriam declared. "Do you realize you got the second highest score in the whole diocese of those taking the geometry test? YOU have been pretending to be dumb all year. I felt sorry for you because I figured you really would never understand these concepts. But now I see you've just been lazy and didn't want to bother doing the work. You wanted to play stupid!"
I couldn't believe my ears! Second highest score?  I swear I had no idea how that happened. Sister Miriam got no response from me except my look of shock. Followed by nervous laughter. 
Sister Miriam interjected. "How else could you have aced that test. It was very competitive. Some of the brightest, most brilliant students didn't score nearly as good as you did."
I told her it was multiple choice. So I guessed the letters of the circles to fill in with my number two pencil. But the nun thought I was kidding saying that it was statistically improbable. So I awaited my punishment.
"I always thought you were really struggling and that your failed test scores during the year were because you tried as hard as you could, but never caught on to it. I was going to pass you just because I believed that. I figured you would never be going to college anyway. I don't like being made a fool when I planned to be so generous by letting you pass. Now, I am sending you to summer school anyway to retake this course."
So, I got sent to summer school for pretending to be dumb in geometry, as a punishment.
It was at that moment, I knew I would hate math forever! Oh yeah, I did as well during the summer course as I did during the regular school year. I still didn't get it. Everything the teacher was showing on the blackboard, the various geometry problems ... meant nothing to me. It was like the teacher on Charlie Brown's voice. In one ear and stuck somewhere in the vast spaces of my mind. 
The joys of summer school. One thing I found out about parents being charged for their child having to go to summer school is that they would never flunk the kid. Oh, it will be a barely a passing score. But never an outright flunk. I think it had something to do with saving face for the nun involved. They were the experts after all! How would they explain to parents who coughed up more money for them to teach their kid a subject that was still flunked? Why a parent couldn't help but think that there was something lacking in the teacher's skills. 😂
Me, as the kid who lost a big part of summer vacation to retake a course in a subject matter I now hated, decided that's it! I WON'T DO MATH beyond the basic arithmetic anymore.
So, just as I figured... I did pass the course --barely.
As the years went on, I knew I wouldn't be a doctor or scientist and wouldn't need geometry or algebra. Then, when I was an adult, I was diagnosed with dyslexia, both audio and written. My brain's wires were crossed but good! No wonder the teachers sounded like the Charlie Brown one. 
Since becoming a doctor required math, I decided to go to law school. That was much easier for a Nun-declared-dumb student like me. 
And that's why WebWitch doesn't do math!
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
|
| | | KILLING TYME (E)
Waste not, want not... a comedic micro-fiction entry to an exact 200 w.c. challenge
#2280989 by DRSmith  |
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Detective
"I fully understand the young child mispronouncing somebody's name. I did the same thing to one of my uncles as child, partially due to a slight speech impediment with the "ph" into an "f" sound. While trying to imitate my grandmother calling him by his full first name instead of the common nickname, I mispronounced it, confused my family for a bit, and gave my uncle a distinct nickname only I use. He still responds to it over thirty years later."
It's true! Sometimes a child's rendition of a name will stick forever. I believe it becomes more endearing over time. Thank you for your feedback. 
See you next month, folks!  |
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