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 I don't do well in extreme heat. I'd better stay out of Hell. ... |
My second eldest daughter's wedding was very cool. It was organized at a Renaissance Festival in Colorado. I was thrilled because this time, I didn't have to do anything except order a costume online, and show up.
Let me tell you, if you haven't been to a Ren-Fest in Colorado in July, where you were hit with such a surprising heat wave, in an open field that is filled with purveyors of all things artistic, and Renaissance period related, then you haven't experienced a Renaissance Faire during the dog days of summer outdoors, overdressed, where air conditioning doesn't exist.
The Costume:
Costumes are beautiful. I chose a wench. It started with a "W."  There are many different choices and colors. The thing is, they have layers. Long underskirts with a long over-skirt and the large belt to tuck part of the skirt into thus exposing that secondary color. However, underneath those two long skirts is a blouson/under-slip that is thankfully, very lightweight white fabric, long poofy sleeves. On this particular day it was humid and in the nineties. No relief because it was an outdoor setting. There were large canopies over the tables where turkey legs and many side dishes were set up for the guests. Beautifully done, I may add, except, I don't like turkey legs. But there were other things to eat besides the "main course."
We had to gather together for pictures, and were invited to attend the festivities that are always present at those events. Elephant rides, anyone? I had one huge issue, other than the elephant. I hate hot and humid. Oh, don't start about my Florida time. I'm out of there before the heat gets brutal.
There were many guides/ushers/whatever they're called who could answer questions about the Faire, the wedding what-have-yous, even how to properly wear your costume. I had to learn a couple things about being a wench and how to wear the under-slip with off the shoulders sleeves. And how to secure the tuck of one skirt into the belt in a secure way so the under skirt would show, and I wouldn't trip over the many layers I wore... I'm just not used to wearing so many clothes all at once.
The hostess, helped me out in the most fabulous way before I could pass-out from the heat. I asked her how she tolerates all these layers of clothing in the wicked heat. She taught me this one clever trick on how to stay cool!
"My dear, you only need to put some ice cubes in your bra. That'll bring your body temperature way down!"
I thought she was joking but I was too overheated to second-guess it. I went to the ice chest and filled a cup of the cubes ...then filled my own cups. 
Have a lovely, refreshing summer near something cool. And those of you in the other hemisphere, keep warm. Although I don't think adding hot coals to your bra is the way to do it!
That's all she sweated out for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter!
 Happy Independence Day, USA! 
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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Some wonderful submissions to my request for comedy genre stories on the Newsfeed, recently.
The Rest of the Story ...
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DRSmith 
FYI... math is sort of a time and place thing. Take a courtroom for example.
If you ask anyone beyond the age of puberty how much is 2 + 2, they'll say "4".
But if you ask a defense attorney the same question, he'll say:
"Depends... what do we need it to be?"
If you ask a 90 year old lawyer if he wears boxers or briefs, he'll respond the same way ...Depends!
See you next month, folks!...
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Comedy: July 02, 2025 Issue [#13209]
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