The Heat Is On Editor: Robert Waltz 
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The month of August had turned into a griddle where the days just lay there and sizzled.
― Sue Monk Kidd
God, it was hot! Forget about frying an egg on the sidewalk; this kind of heat would fry an egg inside the chicken.
― Rachel Caine
A growing heat, like a million blazing suns all focused on me, lit my insides. It felt like I was being cooked in the Gabriella Roast Cooker, me spinning around-and-around to heat my flesh evenly. For some reason I was having trouble comprehending the sudden change in my revolving world as I swelled with a horrible, billowing fire.
― Laura Kreitzer |
Yeah, this one's for my fellow Northern Hemisphereans. If you live south of the Equator, just wait six months. Then it'll be relevant to you again.
It's hot.
This isn't new for summer, of course. It gives us all reasons to complain.
I love it. The heat, I mean. Give me that solar radiation, but only indirectly. The only thing I have to complain about is all the people complaining about it.
I know a lot of people prefer the cold. That's okay; everyone has their preferences, though I'm pretty sure they're a separate species. "I can always put on more clothes," they say, coyly. "I can only take off but so much." Ever seen people who live in extreme heat all the time? Are they naked? No. They're covered head to toe in loose clothing that provides shade and wicks moisture away, which, according to the immutable laws of thermodynamics, cools things off.
I have a different take on it. When I'm cold, and I move into a heated space, it takes hours to warm up. When I'm outside and it's hot, and I move into air conditioning, that's nearly instant relief. That alone is enough to make me prefer hot to cold—though, admittedly, only if I'm in a place where a/c exists nearby.
I remember one particular chance meeting on an elevator in Toronto, Ontario, long ago. I went in July, when that city is tolerable to me (heat-wise, anyway; it's always tolerable in other ways). It was like 80°F outside, which to me is just about perfect. Some guy on an elevator said to me something like, "Sure is hot out there!" I said, "I'm from Virginia. This is a nice spring day for me."
There is, even for me, a point where things get maybe a little warm. That usually involves triple digits on the F scale (that's about 38+ if you're in a civilized country). Until then, though? Heat it up! |
Just a few funnies for your endothermic reaction:
| |  | Rubbish! [E] #1427536 What happens if you don't throw your rubbish away. A cautionary tale for children. |
| | Repetition [18+] #2303980 Konstanz has trouble with his household servant. 1st in 23 Skidoo Contest, 2023. |
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Last time, in "Avoidance" , I talked about how I dodge ball games.
Fivesixer  : I hear you. I feel like I'm an anomaly because I write poems and I'm a sports guy. I don't go to bars much anymore cuz it's easier to drink at home, and I live in a college town so the bars are overpopulated with people young enough to be the college kids I never had. To be honest, it's enviable to not be a sports fan. You root for teams and your heart gets broken at the end of the season, sometimes for years on end. It's an abusive relationship (no offense to actual abusive relationships...my heart goes out as a survivor). And this comic nails it dead-on. Postgame interviews are always like this:
. 
I've seen that comic before, and it's funny because it's true. To be fair, disappointment is part of any fan experience, whether it's sportsball or Star Trek. (Look, Section 31 really let me down, okay?) Everyone's a nerd; we're just all nerds about different things.
So that's it for me for July. See you next month! Until then, keep cool and
LAUGH ON!!!
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Comedy: July 15, 2026 Issue [#13843]
