Vet Visits, Scripts and Being Exhausted Editor: Adore lol♥ 
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| This edition is for the exhausted scribes who juggle plot arcs and vet appointments while their pet practices their best vanishing ninja techniques. Pour whatever warm beverage you can find (bonus points if it’s still warm), and let’s commiserate with a smile. Enjoy and let's begin the fun! |
Well, hi guys and gals…It’s me, Adore lol♥ here for another guest edition of the Comedy newsletter. For this newsletter, we’re gonna visit a fun little memory (or a reality) of life with our dear family pets.
If you are currently wearing yesterday’s hoodie, your manuscript deadline is breathing down your neck like a caffeinated editor, and your shelter-rescue pet regards anyone in a white coat as a marauding orc from their past, welcome.
The Scene: You, the Deadline, and the Vet-orc Conspiracy
You have a chapter to finish and a pet who believes the vet’s waiting room is a portal to The Shelter Orc Council. Every time you say “vet” your pet performs a disappearing act worthy of a David Blaine performance.
They will hide under beds, become suddenly allergic to collars, or insist on a dramatic sprint to the other side of the house as if the floor is lava.
Meanwhile, your manuscript’s blinking cursor has formed a union and is demanding better metaphors.
You are now a diplomat negotiating between two very different species: the human species that needs to meet a deadline, and the furry species that will not, under any circumstances, be tricked into a car ride that smells faintly of antiseptic and betrayal.
They love you, but they just don't care.
Tactical Moves for the Overworked and Overloving
Schedule like a spy
• Book vet visits at the least chaotic hour you can find. Early morning? Late afternoon? Pick a slot that makes you feel like a competent adult for five minutes.
Then celebrate that competence with a pastry. My fave is the sour cream donut...oh yum!
Pre-visit rehearsal
• Practice the car routine without the vet. Drive to the park, give treats, sing a ridiculous song. Make the car smell like victory (or at least like lavender and bribery).
Your pet will be suspicious but slightly less theatrical.
The “two-person” illusion
• If you’re solo, recruit a friend, a neighbor, or a very cooperative houseplant to be your “assistant.” Two humans make the pet suspiciously less certain that this is a one-person conspiracy.
Distraction diplomacy
• Bring the pet's favorite toy, a high-value treat, and a towel that smells like home. If your pet is food-motivated, hide the treat in a puzzle toy for the car ride. If they’re toy-motivated, let them gnaw on the squeaky thing like it’s a tiny, squeaky peace offering.
Manuscript micro-sprints
• Break your writing into 20-minute sprints. Write like the deadline is a hungry raccoon and you are the only thing standing between it and your dignity. Reward yourself with five minutes of pet cuddles (or five minutes of staring at your pet while they plot their escape).
Funny Things That Happen When You’re Too Tired To Be Dramatic
• You will accidentally write “The vet’s waiting room smelled like existential regret” into your novel and then decide it’s actually a killer line.
• Your pet will stare at the carrier like it’s a medieval torture device and you will whisper sweet nothings to the carrier to calm it down.
• You will invent a new genre: veterinary noir — bleak, moody, and suspicious of all white coats.
The Vet Visit: A Play in Four Short Scenes
Scene 1: The Departure
You coax, you bribe, you perform interpretive dance. The pet gives you a look that says, “What the HECK are you doing?” You load them into the car like a fragile artifact. They're still in shock from the strange dance. It worked!
Scene 2: The Waiting Room
The waiting room is a microcosm of humanity: toddlers, elderly folks, and one person who brought three goldfish in a bowl. Your pet clings to you like you are a life raft.
Scene 3: The Examination
The vet enters, smiling like a person but the pet is still very suspicious. Your pet maintains his posture of unwavering indecision. The vet coos and they unveil your pet's favorite treat. The suspicion leaves. Your pet is confounded by their orc magic. There is a fragile treaty till next time.
Scene 4: The Return
You come home triumphant, exhausted, and slightly sticky from the treat bag. Your pet glares at you for a full five minutes and then falls asleep like nothing happened.
You write a paragraph. It’s a good paragraph.
You are doing the impossible: producing art while shepherding a creature who remembers hard things. That is bravery disguised as chaos.
Celebrate the small victories — the vet visit that didn’t end in a chase, the paragraph that actually sings, the moment your pet lets you hold them without plotting escape.
You are not failing; you are multitasking like a legend.
If you ever invent a foolproof method to get a shelter-rescue pet into a car without trauma, patent it, sell it, and then share it to the world.
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Here are a few stories from authors here on Writing.com for you to peruse and enjoy:
| | | Heaven by Proxy (E) "Have you got your ticket to heaven?" Josiah's sure he got his! |
| |  | Oops (E) writer's cramp entry for 7/27/26 |
| | Repetition (18+) Konstanz has trouble with his household servant. 1st in 23 Skidoo Contest, 2023. |
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
Hey, all!!! So glad to catch you guys for some comedy fun again this month. August is ALREADY here and you know what that means? FALL is on the WAAAAY!!! I heard my cat sneeze too already...time for those allergy drops for the family pet. 
Now, here is a letter from one of the reader's of my Comedy newsletter and I must tell you guys that I am so tickled by the support and the readership on this guest column. I've never gotten this kind of feedback and I thank you all for your support.
Let's look at dear reader, Madelyn Stone   who provided the following contributions:
Madelyn Stone
Great newsletter! This made my morning.
I loved all the options in the list. We have dogs and cats. I would love to have a turtle, but have never had the courage to try and raise one.
Of the unusual ones, my favorite was the capybara!
I think you were spot on about the characteristics of each animal and I loved your take on them. 
Two that I could suggest as unusual ones (would love to hear your impressions of them!) would be ferrets and foxes.
Thanks for the morning laughs!
Take care,
 Maddie
Ferrets and foxes, hey, alliteration speaking, um oh, yes, these are part of my daughter's favorite types of pets, the FOX, the red or white or whatever type of fox while my father in law loved the ferret. I think they all are just GREAT and for her feedback, she will receive a MB of her choice later this week.
Well, I didn't ask a question this time. If you just want to write in or ask a question, it'll get in the newsletter and you WILL get a MB from me for your participation.
Take care till next time guys and gals...Spiderman is OUT!!! Our grandson and granddaughter both saw this new movie in the theater...am looking forward to seeing it myself. This has been a long time coming, that's for sure!
Later!!! |
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Comedy: August 05, 2026 Issue [#13881]
