Absurd Logic & Other Things newsletter Editor: Happy 26th WDC lol♥ 
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The Comedy newsletter for this edition features Adore lol♥ as a guest editor. For this edition, I thought I'd go more free form thought on absurd logic and insistence on obviously absurd thinking.
We take a contemplative look at the mind that mulls on abstract thoughts in an attempt to extract truth from the line of illogical thinking. It cannot happen but it was given time to exist.
It's silly. It's nonsensical. Hope it doesn't make you want to barf too much but I'm hoping for the rare chuckle. When that appears, I know we are on our way. Also, in the upcoming days, the WDC birthday celebration will commence on the 1st of September.
Hope to see you there! |
Hello my wonderfully whimsical comedy lovers! It’s Adore lol♥ popping in with a brain pop that shouldn’t have left my mind but here it is anyway. I’m calling it, Things The Absurd Brain, uh, Should Not Have Shared… but here we are.
Let’s begin with a revelation I recall overhearing from someone else. Let’s clear this up. It’s not my revelation, thank God, but some else who uttered it out loud. They claimed they were peeling potatoes when they thought this up.
They started with this idea. Potatoes have skin. Then they moved on to the next thought, I have skin. Therefore, potatoes and they were basically related.
Phew. Okay, let’s just stop here. The skin on a potato and the skin on a human are different. Waaaaay different. But that wasn’t considered at all.
But wait — the logic spiral didn’t stop there. Oh no. Their brain said, “Let’s take this further.”
Corn Grows in a Field. Taco Bell Harvests Gorditas. Coincidence? I Think Not.
They were driving past a cornfield the other day and thought, “This is where Taco Bell must harvest their gorditas.” Because obviously, if corn grows in a field, then everything corn‑adjacent must also grow in that same field.
It’s just science. Um, no, this isn’t logic, first of all. And science is in the fifth dimension here.
Picture it: a farmer walking through rows of corn, gently plucking warm, fluffy gorditas off the vines like it’s peak harvest season. Maybe he hums a little tune. Maybe he wipes sweat from his brow and whispers, “Another good year for the gordita crop.”
And somewhere in the distance, a Taco Bell manager nods approvingly, clipboard in hand, ready to ship those fields‑fresh gorditas straight to the drive‑thru.
Honestly, it’s comforting. They said that they liked knowing their food lived a full, meaningful life before becoming my midnight snack.
Someone with a live brain attached actually thought this up and well, gave me absurd things to put in this newsletter. Hope you like it. My brain is really not liking this but, ah well!
More Absurd Logic The Absurd Brain Has Decided Is True
Because once you start down the path of nonsense, you might as well commit fully.
If birds can fly and airplanes can fly, then birds are just tiny feathered airplanes.
I don’t care what biology says. I’ve seen pigeons. They look like they’re late for a connecting flight.
If socks disappear in the dryer, then clearly the dryer is hungry.
And honestly? I respect that. I too get snacky when I’m working.
If my phone autocorrects “I’m fine” to “I’m dying,” then maybe it knows something I don’t.
Technology is advanced. Maybe it’s trying to warn me about the emotional consequences of eating field‑grown gorditas at 2 a.m.
If cats knock things off tables, they’re just testing gravity for the rest of us.
Scientists should thank them. They’re doing unpaid research.
If I drink water and plants drink water, then I am basically a houseplant with anxiety.
The Day The Absurd Brain Tried to Share
So, then he made the mistake of sharing the potato‑skin revelation with a friend. She stared at him like he had just announced he was running for president on a platform of “mandatory nap time and free nachos.”
He said, “Potatoes have skin. I have skin. We’re close cousins.”
The friend blinked very slowly. “Um, that’s not how this works.” she said.
But he were committed. “Corn grows in a field. Gorditas come from Taco Bell. Taco Bell uses corn. Therefore, gorditas grow in the same field.”
She sighed the sigh of someone who regrets every life choice that led her to this moment.
He continued, “If birds are tiny airplanes, then airplanes are just big metal birds.”
She suddenly announced she had forgotten her souffle in the oven and must leave immediately.
He had felt so proud.
He hasn't heard from her since though.
That was a decade ago.
Maybe she just moved and forgot to tell him.
He could only surmise that some people just don’t like to think.
A Few More Logical Gems for Your Day
Because I know you love these little spirals of nonsense as much as I do…here’s a few more for your basket of goodies.
If my dog barks at the mailman, he’s clearly protecting me from paper‑based threats. Bills are dangerous, so he’s not wrong.
If my coffee wakes me up, then my coffee is basically my alarm clock. And honestly, it’s more reliable.
If the moon follows my car at night, then the moon is stalking me. I don’t make the rules.
If I lose my keys, then the universe is telling me I didn’t need to go anywhere anyway.
Destiny is real.
If I talk to myself and answer myself, that’s just a conference call. I’m a multitasker.
Well, that's all we can take of this, that's for sure. In closing...
Life is full of serious things — bills, deadlines, laundry that refuses to fold itself.
So sometimes we need a little nonsense to keep the joy alive. A little potato‑skin logic. A little gordita‑harvesting fantasy. A little “birds are airplanes” energy.
So here’s to the absurd thinkers, the whimsical logic‑makers, and everyone who has ever looked at a vegetable and thought, “We’re not so different, you and I.”
Stay silly, stay curious, and stay delightfully illogical. I hope you guys liked my silly little voyage this time. Let me know in comments if this is interesting or if I'm wasting your time. Till the next time...stay well guys!♥ |
Here are some works from other authors here on Writing.com for your reading enjoyment:
| |  | SEBASTIAN'S GROVE (E) An Ad for an Out-of-the-Ordinary Travel Spot with an Incredible Cuisine |
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Comedy: September 02, 2026 Issue [#13928]
