Spiritual Mentorship Editor: Jeff is Carl & Princess Donut 
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"Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief."
— C.S. Lewis
About The Editor: Greetings! My name is Jeff is Carl & Princess Donut  and I'm one of the regular editors of the official Spiritual Newsletter! I've been a member of Writing.com since 2003, and have edited more than 500 newsletters across the site in that time. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to email me directly or submit feedback in the comment box at the bottom of this newsletter.
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Spiritual Mentorship
Back when I identified as an agnostic, my wife encouraged me to sit down with one of the pastors at the church we attended.
He actually wasn't even a pastor at the time; he had gone to seminary and was ordained, but was having a difficult time finding a job in ministry so he worked part-time as the IT guy for our local church. My wife thought he would be a good person for me to talk to as I was exploring my own faith and, it turns out, she was right. He and I would get breakfast or lunch once a month or so and, even after he got the call-up to be one of the teaching pastors on staff at that church, he never once pushed me to convert. He just asked me how my life was going, and we would sometimes venture into theological questions when I would say something like, "So what's the deal with..." or "Hey, can you explain why..." He always answered my questions — and I had plenty of them — without rushing me toward a conclusion. It was one of my first experiences with a Christian ministry leader where I didn't feel like I was being pressured to convert.
Around that same time in my life, I had a friend who mentored me in a completely different, much less official way. He never sat me down to answer theological questions. He didn't have a title or a role. What he had was the simple gift of being someone who was genuinely fun to be around. Who knew how to laugh and joke and talk about pop culture and geek out about film equipment all while being a deeply committed Christian. He was proof that faith didn't require foregoing all of your other interests and only being a Christian. I had met plenty of people who were "serious" Christians and never did anything except read their Bibles, listen to Christian music, watch Christian movies, and basically never said or did anything that wasn't 100% faith-based. I also met plenty of people who were "unserious" Christians (or Christians in Name Only) who called themselves Christian but lived their life on their own terms without any discernible real commitment to the tenets of faith. I don't think he ever knew how much it mattered to me that he was an example of someone who could be devout without being an obsessive.
One of these was a formal mentorship. The other wasn't a mentorship in any official sense at all, but shaped my spiritual life all the same.
There's value in a mentoring. Whether it's for a job, a hobby, or a faith tradition, someone who has intentionally taken on the role of guiding your growth, checking in on you, and walking alongside you while you develop is invaluable. A pastor, a spiritual director, or an elder in your tradition who has walked the road longer than you and is willing to walk alongside you is ideal. If you have access to that kind of relationship, it's worth taking seriously and investing in.
But not everyone does. Plenty of people don't have a home church, or a settled faith community of any kind, or an obvious person in their life who occupies that kind of formal role. And I think it's easy, in the absence of that ideal scenario, to conclude that you're simply missing out on spiritual mentorship altogether; that without an official mentor, you're on your own.
I think mentorship is available in a lot more places than we usually look for it, if we're willing to recognize it in less official terms.
My friend never once sat me down and taught me anything directly. But I watched him. I watched how he talked about his faith without making it weird or forced. I watched him hold his convictions seriously while still being easy to be around, still genuinely funny, still someone I wanted to spend time with. That's a form of mentorship too: a living example. Being close enough to someone further along in some part of their journey that you can watch how they actually live, not just what they claim to believe.
The same logic extends further than personal friendships: an author whose book meets you exactly where you are. A small group where someone consistently asks better questions than you would have thought to ask yourself. Someone you admire from a distance — a public figure, a writer, even a stranger whose example you've only encountered secondhand — can function as a kind of mentor if you're paying attention to what their life is actually teaching you, not just what they say.
The common thread isn't title or formality. It's a willingness to let someone further down the road show you something, and a willingness on your part to actually watch.
What makes someone worth learning from, spiritually, regardless of whether they carry an official role? A few things I've noticed, looking back at both my pastor and my friend: they were honest, including about their own doubts and shortcomings, rather than performing a version of faith that had no room for struggle. They engaged my actual questions instead of the questions they wished I'd asked. And their lives, as far as I could tell, actually reflected what they said they believed; maybe not perfectly, but genuinely. And, more than anything, they didn't meet with me out of an overt desire to convert me. They were content to get to know me, to meet me where I was, and to let me come to my own conclusions.
None of that requires a formal position. It requires someone paying enough attention to you to actually respond to who you are, and it requires you paying enough attention to them to actually learn something.
Mentorship, in either form, isn't usually a single conversation or a single moment of insight. It's closer to an ongoing practice; staying in relationship long enough to keep asking questions, keep watching, keep being willing to be shaped by what you notice. My pastor and I are still in that relationship today, years later. My friend and I don't see each other often anymore (mostly just a matter of evolving life circumstances), but the shape of what he showed me is still there.
If you have someone in your life occupying that formal role, invest in it. But if you don't, I'd encourage you not to treat that absence as a spiritual dead end. Look around at who's actually further down the road than you are, in whatever form that takes, and see what happens when you start paying attention.
Until next time,
Jeff is Carl & Princess Donut
If you're interested in checking out my work:
"New & Noteworthy Things" | "Blogocentric Formulations"
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This month's official Writing.com writing contest is:
You are also invited to check out these items from members of the community:
| |  | The Signs of Peril (ASR) A man has multiple encounters with strange indicators of danger beyond the grave. |
| | | Justice (13+) With no lesson to teach and no retribution, what does justice look like? |
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
Feedback from "Spiritual Newsletter (August 5, 2026)" about wrestling with God:
BlitzieBubbly  writes: Thankful for the wisdom placed in this email. Appreciate the honesty of the experience of wrestling with God and the realization or revelation that comes from it.
lbidler  writes: Jeff, thank you for this beautiful message. So many times I have cried out: "God, DO SOMETHING!" never realizing that He already has, just by loving me enough to sit with me and teach me about solitude and trust. There have been times when my prayers were answered and I never even noticed because the answer looked different from the one I expected. When I take my eyes off myself and see Him in all His glory, there is peace. Linda
SheilaK writes: Thanks Editor Jeff, for the 'Wrestling with God", article. So many times we all wonder why God allows some of the evil. |
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Spiritual: September 02, 2026 Issue [#13931]
