Chompy A Big Cat with Big Heart for life Editor: Scary Adore FNAF lol♥ 
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This Comedy newsletter hosted by guest editor Adore lol♥ with a loving tribute to a recently departed family cat, Chompy. There are often certain persons or family pets that make an indelible mark on your life, and this cat Chompy did just that. He was a cut above the rest, lit up the room with his personality and was one of the most chill cats we'd ever known.
As we reminisce in our funny warm hearted way, it is my hope that you can remember those special family pets that have gone on to romp and play forever in the clouds, and it can be a gentle salve and brighten your countenance as you recall the fun times.
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Hello my wonderful readers — it’s Adore lol♥, and today’s newsletter is a special one. I wanted to write something to celebrate the comedic times we had with our family cat and not dwell on any sad parts.
Honestly, our dear Chompy was spry right up to the end. He leapt on high places. Enjoyed a stolen McDonald's chicken nugget. And this was a cat that never ate anything but dry cat food. But that day, he wanted a fried nugget and he stole it.
We're gonna celebrate him. Hold a small tribute. This is a comedic love letter to a cat who lived large, loved large, and absolutely refused to eat anything except dry food, McDonald’s fries, or a milkshake.
Yes, you read that correctly. This is the story of Chompy — a big tabby mix with an even bigger personality, who taught us that life is better when you’re friendly, fluffy, and deeply committed to your snack preferences.
Meet Chompy: The Gentle Giant With a Dry‑Food‑Only Policy
Chompy wasn’t just a cat. He was our cat. He was a presence. A large, handsome tabby mix who walked through the house like he was the mayor, the sheriff, and the zoning board all at once.
He was amiable under all circumstances — unless you were a cat approaching his food bowl. Then he became a bouncer at a nightclub called “Kibble Only.”
But with humans? Pure sweetness. Pure charm. Pure “I love you but also please refill my bowl.”
Chompy’s worldview was simple:
• Dry food = life.
• Wet food = suspicious.
• McDonald’s fries = destiny.
• Milkshakes = spiritual awakening.
If he smelled a fry from across the house, he didn’t walk — he materialized. If he heard a milkshake cup crinkle, he didn’t wait — he teleported.
No one can explain how he did this. He just did, when he wanted it, he moved with intention.
The McDonald’s Phenomenon
Let’s talk about the fries.
Most cats ignore human food. Not Chompy. Chompy believed fries were placed on Earth specifically for him.
He didn’t care about the burger. He didn’t care about the nuggets. He didn’t care about the bag.
He cared about the fries.
If you dared to bring McDonald’s into the house, you were no longer a person — you were a fry‑delivery service.
And he respected you deeply for it. I can't tell you the number of times he
snuck into our daughter's room where the bag of fries were there to be eaten.
He always found a way to be there right when they were HOT, and were freshly delivered.
He was amazing that way.
The milkshakes? Oh, he knew the sound of a straw in a lid. He knew the smell of vanilla. He knew the vibration of hope.
He would sit politely, like a gentleman, waiting for his tiny ceremonial taste — because Chompy believed in manners.
He was large, but he was refined.
Chompy vs. Biggle: A Tale of Two Brothers
Now, Chompy’s brother Biggle — a high‑strung Tabby/Bengal mix — lived life at a different speed.
Biggle was the cat equivalent of a caffeinated squirrel. He had opinions. He had energy. He had drama.
Chompy? Chompy was Switzerland. Neutral. Peaceful. Calm.
Unless Biggle got too close to Chompy’s food bowl. Then Chompy became the CEO of
“Absolutely Not, Sir.” This is mine, and you can have the bowl across the room, which I intend to inspect once you head to it.
But even then, Chompy didn’t fight. He simply stood his ground — all of it — because he had a lot of ground to stand.
Biggle respected him. Everyone respected him. You couldn’t not respect Chompy. He was a legend.
Chompy's Worldview
Chompy’s worldview was shaped by his size, his sweetness, and his culinary convictions.
Here are a few things he believed wholeheartedly:
1. Every human is a friend.
Unless they’re holding wet food. Then they’re confused.
2. Every room is improved by his presence.
He didn’t enter rooms — he blessed them.
3. Every bowl should be full.
Not half full. Not “you still have some left.” Full.
4. Every fry is a miracle.
He treated them with reverence.
5. Every nap is important.
Especially the ones taken in the exact spot you were planning to sit.
Chompy’s Daily Routine (As He Saw It)
Morning: Wake up. Stretch. Check the food bowl. Judge its fullness. Request improvements.
Midday: Nap. Walk around. Nap again. Check the bowl. Check humans. Check the bowl again.
Afternoon: Sit in a sunbeam. Purr. Supervise household activities. Check bowl.
Evening: Wait for fries. If fries do not appear, accept dry food as consolation.
Night: Snuggle. Purr. Dream of milkshakes.
Chompy may have crossed the rainbow on 9/10/26, but his spirit — his sweetness, his silliness, his fry‑detecting superpowers — live on.
He was a cat who loved without hesitation. A cat who welcomed everyone. A cat who made life softer, funnier, and more delicious.
He was the kind of kitty who made you laugh even when he wasn’t trying. The kind who made you feel loved just by existing.
The kind who left pawprints that don’t fade.
This newsletter is for him. For the big boy with the big heart. For the gentle giant who taught us that love can be simple, silly, and wonderfully snack‑focused.
Thank you for sharing this with me, these are special memories and I hope they brought even a small smile to your heart and mind.
Till next time...keep on smiling and writing! |
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Comedy: September 30, 2026 Issue [#13973]
