  Comedy
This week: Grumpy Bumpy Edited by: Marci Missing Everyone  
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Hi! It's Marci and I am your Comedy Newsletter editor for the second edition of each month. I wouldnât consider myself a comedic writer. So then why am I editing the comedy newsletter? Because even the most dramatic, suspenseful, and mysterious works need something called âcomic reliefâ once in a while. So if you are not a natural comedian, then this is the place for you and we shall find comic relief together.
"I'm one of those unlucky people who had a happy childhood." - Jonathan Coe
âThe face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.â - Jack Handy
âWhen my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When theyâre finished, I climb out.â â Erma Bombeck
âYou can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.â â Franklin P. Adams |
As I write this, it is Friday afternoon. Iâm stuck in the house with my daughter. You see, she has the dreaded Chicken Pox. I know they are mostly gone in the USA, but our family doesnât vaccinate (and please donât send a rant about that). And somehow my precious little girl has turned into Grumpy Bumpy.
After we took her to the doctor they determined it was indeed Chicken Pox, and gave her a really low dose of prednisone to help with the itching. Sheâs been on that for a couple of days now, and if youâve ever been on prednisone, you know it can make you hungry and moody. So here is a fun list of things that are going on with my once-sweet ten-year-old that might give you a chuckle or two.
1. While rolling her eyes and cutting them sharply over at her brother during a rant session of whatever atrocity he might have committed, she looked over at me and said, âIâm not trying to create drama!â 
2. While telling me sheâs starving, she refuses every food or snack suggestion I make. âItâs the wrong kind of cereal. There is no ham. What she wants we donât have. And what happened to cooking some bacon?â That got cancelled a couple of days ago and thatâs what she really wants, but no one will listen to her and cook the bacon. 
3. âWhen Daddy goes to the store, he wonât buy me any of the food I want. Itâs always too expensive. But he buys Trae everything he wants.â Me: âWell what do you want? Daddy is at the store right now, and Iâll have him get it.â Her: âI donât know what I want. I canât go to the store and look at the aisle to decideâŚâ This poor baby is stuck in the house until sheâs no longer contagious.
4. Daddy gave away her ticket to the ballgame tomorrow night. But sheâs still contagious. Her argument. âThere wonât be any old people or pregnant women at the game.â Does this child have psychic powers or what?
5. âBut why canât I go to the church cookout?â Because there will be elderly people from church there. âWhy do old people come to the cookout? Itâs not like they can play or anything.â Iâm about ready to strangle her at this point.
6. âMom, nothing is going right in my life right now. I might as well just sleep the whole day tomorrow since I canât go anywhere.â Thatâs fine by me, baby. Then I wonât have to listen to you ânot create drama.â
And just think, by Monday she will not be contagious anymore, but thatâs when all the fun stuff is over, and her life is ruined. Itâs terrible to have your life ruined at ten years old, and all because you had the chicken pox.
PS... It is now Monday, and she has gone from being Grumpy Bumpy to Scabby Abby... I know, she's going to be scarred for life both inside and out! 
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When I read this I really cracked up! My daughter is 10, but it still fits her well.
This is a perfect piece for mother's to think about. Why not make your own list?
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Very cute dialogue!!!
I have a teenaged son. This would be one of my biggest fears!
| | | Parental Guidance (13+) âDr. Oz said we should provide âclose supervisionâ ..." A Daily Flash Fiction HM |
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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| We had no mail from the last newsletter. That was a bummer, but hopefully, we will generate some funny stories or nicknames from this one. Send me a note on a humorous nickname for one of your children or someone you know. Or, send me a funny story about a childhood illness. You can find comedy in anything. |
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Comedy: June 08, 2016 Issue [#7683]
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