Be Still My Everything

I just want it all to stop

Be still my beating heart,
stop holding onto irrelevant truths,
dreams don't become reality
quit trying to hold endlessly,
be still forever and do not give in
no more pain to behold,
without the gasping for breath
losing those who I once held dear,
to no longer hold them within
but to keep them outside.

Be still my never wanted soul
freeze over becoming darkened ice,
black to the sight and burning to thy touch
never again do I want to try,
If its craved it isn't needed
casting aside all emotion from my body,
does this make me a bad person?
to have an unused heart
cold to everyone until I am defrosted
from the heat of someone come too close.

Be still my ever racing mind
unforgiving lies created for happiness,
never to be lived down,
tortured by myself unrelenting beatings
taken without a word
turning myself to nothing
draining what I am to become hollow,
never wanting to have begun what I am
but needing to end it right now,
It may not be a necessity
but to me, I must have this reality
I live with it each grueling day of life,
be still my everything,
no longer do I want to last.