For the poems I spew forth in April
and as it seems. the ice is broken,
has become apparent that it won't
be just a poem a day. At least,
of course, but my muse
has returned from where muses go;
that place their writers may not follow.
Note 2: So, it seems that much which has been stored (hidden? Closeted away?) in my psyche has decided, at long last, to spew forth. This is a lot of deeply personal stuff - some of it seeing the light of day for the first time in a long, long while. Maybe, I've finally come to grips with it. Maybe I finally know I'm safe. Maybe both.
Looking back on the adventures, disasters, dreams, and nightmares that all muddle up into my being who I am, I can honestly say that there were times I messed up. There were times I made horrendously stupid, naive, ill-advised, or spur-of-the-moment decisions that did not work well. At all. Eventually, I learned. Eventually, I realized that thinking well of people, giving them the benefit of the doubt can be naive even when you think you have the tools in place to make intelligent choices. Decisions made in desperation often do not go as planned. Other things happened simply because, even though I believe that one is where one is supposed to be at any given time, sometimes those places were the wrong places at the wrong time. Some stuff was out of my control. Other things, I own up to because I know what I did (or didn't do) led to eventual outcomes.
Regardless, one goes on, moves on, gets over the crap, and aims for the light, the better stuff, the joy, and the hopefully better decisions or choices.
I am, these days, more comfortable within my own skin than I have ever been. I'm okay with all the roller coaster rides, the mayhem and the craziness I have lived. One thing, for sure, I haven't had a boring life.