Never More

a brief poem about not being able to get out of your own way

Never More

I’m never more alone than when I’m with you.
I’m never more at ease than when you are gone.
I live for disingenuous words of caring.
My hair is darkest brown, not blond.

I’m never more out the door than in.
I’m never more ready to leave than when arriving.
I take the stairs two steps at a time.
I do not do all the driving.

I’m never more excited than when it’s ending.
I’m never more ready for lightning to strike it.
I stand there grounded in my disbelief.
Hurt, but I pretend not to like it.

I’m never more in denial than when I’m in love.
I’m never more ready to bind my own wrists.
I take my punishment raw and unfiltered.
Much as I took our first kiss.

I’m never more caged than with unwelcome advice.
I’m never more ready to take it to heart.
I stand there with hands cupped over my eyes.
Waiting to take me apart.