A Hope for Anew

A longing want for something that keeps failing, but always has you running back

There's only a few minutes till the train gets here. Am I really going to do this? Take this train and start of new, forget you. The minutes move so slow it feels like I have time to change my mind. My feet are telling me to make a run for it, “she’s not so far away, I bet she’s waiting for you”. I can hear the train rushing towards me, my feet get steady to lift off and run away. This is my chance at something new, but you, are you waiting for me? Maybe I was never meant to forget you, only regret you. My feet set off onto pursue you. Galloping along the roadside, striding to reach you. My feet grow weary. It’s not the physical strain that holds me back, but the thought that maybe you’re not waiting for me. Another wild goose chase just to come up short? But aren’t I still going to run to you? Knowing the outcome didn’t stop me then, why stop me now? Making my way to you, the weather seems to have adjusted to my mood; a cool breeze dampening the sweat rolling down my face. Now outside your door, a knock is enough to bring you out. But my fingers stop at the edge of your door, too afraid to knock and wake you. Oh, how I wish I had my fearlessness with me now, that fearlessness that helped me gain all in life. For now, I fear a slab of well sculpted wood. I feared the idea of forgetting you, starting something new without you. So why does something so measly bother me? Will I not stand Infront of my darkest fears and knock away on its temple till it is conquered by me? My knuckles ready to chip away at the door, and I'm surprised by the creak of the door. Whoosh opens the door, and you stand glistening in your natural beauty. The fear now engulfs my throat, words find no way out, trapped inside doomed for eternity in the pits of an esophagus. Your eyes don’t seem too welcoming. My words let you know I’m here because I’m too afraid to start a life without you. You whisper to me that my life is better off without you. What a preposterous statement. I know the emotions of my heart, and it tells me that I cannot generate a smile without you, cannot form a thought of bliss without thinking of you. And know my world seems to crumble at the feet of your words. “Your life is better without me”. Oh, how can you say that darling? My life is incomplete without you. You are my life, my love. Don't tell me we can’t be, for if so, then I can’t breathe another breath of this earth. Tell me this is all a ruse to see how a mind in love reacts to betrayal, because I will take you back even though you’ve brought me to my knees. Tell me that it’s not just me that sees something between us. Tell me that you care for me and love me as much as I do you. Please darling tell me something. My heart longs for you. I want to run behind you and be at your doorstep every second, I don’t want to make my way back to the train station.
Tell me darling, do you love me?